Non-Negotiable Rule of Feminism #2:
Honey, you can raise all the FIERCE, FEARLESS, FEMINIST girl children in the world…but, if you also unleash a son who is a SEXIST, MISOGYNISTIC, PATRIARCHAL PRICK WITH MEAN MINDLESS MAN MEAT DANGLIN’ BETWIXT his ENTITLED LEGS and NOTHIN’ AT ALL DANGLIN’ BETWIXT HIS DOUCHELORD EARS…in a Universal sense, you pretty much cancel the SHEER AWESOMEOSITY of your girl OUT.
In other words…as parents who have been charged with the sacred, vital task of raising decent, kind, enlightened human beings to people the planet — just know that you will be DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the unimaginable suffering of others, PARTICULARLY WOMEN and GIRLS.
In other words…you had ONE FUCKING JOB…and YOU FUCKING FAIL.
“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
― Gloria Steinem
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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