Well, not really…but I guarantee you that a whole lot of the rotting, festering fruit that is hanging on the hanging tree that is my Facebook page will be VAPOR, baby — and this house will be CLEAN.

Can you tell that today all the GOTTDAMNED TOUCHY DOUCHE-LORDS of the world are JAMMIN’ MY FAT FREQUENCIES?

People just need to pull the uptight-Saturday-night tree trunk outta their ass, shut the fuck up with the CONSTANT HIGH DUDGEON, and just BELLY LAUGH LIKE A JACKAL. Quit taking every blithering thing so seriously and just let some shit slide, bitches.

See, here’s the deal. The harder this fucking society attempts to censor, civilize, and bowdlerize my fatass and all those like me…the HARDER and FIERCER we will push back. Trust me, Mein Haters…there is SO MUCH MORE COMING.

Count on it.

In the words of the brilliant, inimitable Oddball:

“Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?”

In the meantime…here is THE ULTIMATE MANIFESTO railing against this whole current I AM SO OFFENDED swamp through which we currently slog as a culture…written by the BRILLIANT Gilbert Gottfried.

READ IT AND WEEP….and then SHUT THE FUCK UP — and for God’s sake…have some GODDAMNED FUN.

Oh, and PS) If you honestly believe that the KIND, GENEROUS, PASSIONATE, COMPASSIONATE, BONAFIDE, TRUE-BLUE mother, actor, activist, and humanitarian — Patricia Arquette — is The Enemy…then A) You surely don’t know Patricia Arquette, B) You are DANGEROUSLY MISGUIDED, and C) Fucking UNFRIEND my FATASS.

YESTERDAY.

That is all.