ebullient packer

I am sick in bed and in between unconsciousness-raising doses of NyQuil, I am just lying here dosing before dozing and feeling sleepily wistful about traveling the world…and wishing so much that I was somewhere else seeing glorious places and extraordinary things. Hoping perchance to remember and dream of sweet French apples on my tongue and my handsome husband serenading me with Elvis Costello as we strolled arm in arm down the Champs Elysees one fine night in Paris.

My bag is packed. Then again…my bag is ALWAYS packed. Quite literally. You never know when you may have to jam.

In the meantime:

Inane Muff Fact #827:

I am an EBULLIENT ADVENTURER, PATHOLOGICAL PACKER and RABID ACOLYTE of The Rick Steves Method…and can effortlessly pack for three days OR three months in my BELOVED garnet carry-on suitcase…because Mama don’t check bags. EVER:

Three black dresses, black cashmere cardigan, five pairs of Granny Panties, two pairs of black tights, black bathing suit, black Havaianas, Target schmata to sleep in, jewelry satchel with two pairs of black drop-ball earrings and five choice brooches, two vintage lady scarves, moisturizer, sunscreen, crystal deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, travel package of baby wipes, black Ace comb, medical-grade tweezers (I’M SICILIAN, BITCHES), small black umbrella, writing notebook, MACBook and charger, and a single tube of glorious MAC Russian Red lipstick because I am a fancy motherfucker.


About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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