Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

mother and child

Posted on June 8, 2010 by muffybolding

Muffy and Pearlie Mae in The ‘No — posing in the shitter at Supercuts whilst the darling Gregory gets his hairs cut. That’s a little baby girl whose mother likes to kiss her on the lips!

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COMPLETELY ON TRACK

Posted on June 8, 2010 by muffybolding

An enduring image from my childhood. This place is in my ears and in my eyes. Always.

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Posted on June 4, 2010 by muffybolding

When you are raised poor or in perpetual economic peril, no matter how much money you may ever have in your life, you’re always expecting to have your credit card denied, to have your check bounce, to have your power … Continue reading →

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requiescat in pace, miss rue

Posted on June 3, 2010 by muffybolding

Blanche: “Ah! Look at the shameless way she’s flirtin’ with him. DIS-GUSTIN’!” Rose: “You flirted with him.” Blanche: “I’m from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.” Rose: “What do you mean?” Dorothy: “Her mother was a slut, too.” … Continue reading →

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pole

Posted on June 3, 2010 by muffybolding

In saying that I am no longer able to partake of either the pixilated or the “live poon/scratch n’ sniff” versions myself, I am certainly not judging others who do watch porn — or even those who take part in … Continue reading →

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OFF TRACK

Posted on June 3, 2010 by muffybolding

Vacuous Muff Fact #98: For the past ten years or so (or, more specifically, when our two daughters entered adolescence), pornography in all its glorious forms has been COMPLETELY ruined for both Gregory and I. Christ, I can’t even enjoy … Continue reading →

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a call for baggie

Posted on June 3, 2010 by muffybolding

This is a stock photo of my Queen Bee Creations purse…which I have had for about a million years — the only difference being that I immediately ditched the record and replaced it with THE MOST AMAZING PROFILE PHOTOGRAPH OF … Continue reading →

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requiescat in pace kassie lee

Posted on June 1, 2010 by muffybolding

And so…the light brings with it even more incomprehensible tragedy and grief. Yesterday evening, two of my oldest, dearest, and most treasured friends from Fresno — Bryan and Cathy Lee — unexpectedly lost their 21 year old daughter, Kassie, to … Continue reading →

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timmy

Posted on May 31, 2010 by muffybolding

“Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” — Timothy Leary (SO FLATTERING…because yes, the old bastard DID hardcore hit on me in 1993…back, of course, when I didn’t look like Ernest Borgnine.)

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izzy

Posted on May 29, 2010 by muffybolding

“Most human beings today waste some 25 to 30 years of their lives before they break through the actual and conventional lies which surround them.” — Isadora Duncan

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