Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

dress

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

#votebitches #imwithher #hrc16 #womancard#dealmyfatassin #allgirlstothefront #alloldbroadstothefront #suckmyleftone

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two

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

And, by the way, in the VERY unlikely event that Bernie (whom I admire and respect without end) should pull off a miracle, I would like to publicly state that I shall throw ALL of my 5’1″ 160 pounds behind … Continue reading →

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hill

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

  Whatever candidate you may support, the most important thing you do today IS THAT YOU VOTE. I, myself, am heartily heartened by all of the vast legions of people who have back-channeled to confide in me that despite the … Continue reading →

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miss ann

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

On this historic day…I will leave you with this quote from one of the FIERCEST, MOST FEARLESS, MOST FABULOUS BITCHES OF ALL TIME. “If you give us the chance, we can perform. After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred … Continue reading →

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drunk uncles

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

Yeah, chuckle it up, Motherfuckers — I’M NOT JOKING. ‪#‎DRUNKUNCLESisthenameofmynewpunkthugjugband‬ ‪#‎backoffmanimfromfresno‬ ‪#‎yougottareadthebook‬

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she

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

I have literally been waiting my entire goddamned life — 27 WHOLE YEARS! — to shout as my BARBARIC ESTROGEN-FUELED YAWP from the rooftops of the world: NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD BROADS TO COME TO THE AID … Continue reading →

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elbows up

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

ALL GIRLS TO THE FRONT. #whenshetalksiheartherevolution #‎menhavebroughtustothedgeofruin‬ ‪ #‎itisthetimeforwomen‬ ‪#‎thefutureisfemale‬ ‪#‎oldbroadstothefront‬  ‪#‎HRC2016‬ ‪#‎hillary2016‬    

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we really do

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

We really do. #hillary2016 #imwithher #bitchesgetshitdone

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get used to me

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

‘I am America,’ he once declared. ‘I am the part you won’t recognize. But get used to me—black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own. Get used to me.’ — Muhammad Ali  

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the greatest

Posted on June 7, 2016 by muffybolding

  From the time I was an adolescent, I had this black and white postcard gladly tacked to a bulletin board in every place I ever lived. I very clearly remember that the first time I ever saw this now-iconic … Continue reading →

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