Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

obama 08

Posted on February 12, 2007 by muffybolding

Because I am just going to arrogantly assume that anyone demented and disturbed enough (and I mean that in the most exalted sort of way, of course) to be on my friends list would be a Democrat, or an Independent … Continue reading →

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anna nicole smith RIP

Posted on February 9, 2007 by muffybolding

For whatever else you might think about Anna Nicole Smith and her questionable methods regarding upward mobility — and perhaps even more questionable claims to legitimate fame — in the end she was nothing more than a working class girl … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 55 Comments

virtual fromage

Posted on February 7, 2007 by muffybolding

This delightful site, run by an English cheesemaker, provides a Webcam shot of mold growing on maturing cheddar cheese. For the two most handsome and passionate cheeselovers I know: my adorable husband, Gregory, and the darling — with love…from me. … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

kindness

Posted on February 6, 2007 by muffybolding

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any reward. Your life will … Continue reading →

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enough with the mystical, magical bush, already

Posted on February 1, 2007 by muffybolding

I’m telling you right now…if I am forced to look at Harry Potter’s crab ladder one more time — I’m taking fucking hostages. This is a goddamned outrage.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 14 Comments

“What kind of father would take his own daughter’s rights away?”

Posted on February 1, 2007 by muffybolding

“Dear Mr. President” Written and performed by Pink Dear Mr. President, Come take a walk with me. Let’s pretend we’re just two people and You’re not better than me. I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak … Continue reading →

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hear, hear, goddamnit

Posted on January 30, 2007 by muffybolding

“The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried this device to such a height of perfection and have invented so wide a range of pithy and hackneyed phrases that they can carry on an amusing … Continue reading →

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“you’re the boss, applesauce…”

Posted on January 30, 2007 by muffybolding

Though advance word on the street is definitely not good…I gotta tell you, gauging by this trailer, I think I might just be really excited about seeing this movie. Yeah. In fact, just thinking about it is making me want … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments