Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

Posted on December 26, 2006 by muffybolding

I love Christmas. Actually, allow me to clarify: I love Christmas trees and Christmas lights and Christmas music. These are the sensorial constructs through which I am better able to feel and experience the beauty, joy, and wonder of the … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 27 Comments

a simple observation

Posted on December 24, 2006 by muffybolding

Ellen Degeneres has Jesus feet.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 8 Comments

brilliant

Posted on December 23, 2006 by muffybolding

My friend, Jordy, has a new movie coming out in April that looks so goddamned ALL-talent I don’t even know what to say. I cannot wait to grill her adorable midget ass on what it was like working with Quentin … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

sigh.

Posted on December 23, 2006 by muffybolding

On F. Scott Fitzgerald: “His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly’s wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

CES, say yes

Posted on December 23, 2006 by muffybolding

Is anyone else going to CES in January? The cute husband and I will be there…he for bidness, me for pleasure — the pleasure of being alone with my true love in a hotel room in Las Vegas for several … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

come home, little opal

Posted on December 19, 2006 by muffybolding

Well, I guess the best and surest way to find out how an old comrade is really and truly doing is to see her with your own two eyes — and we are going to do just that. We have … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

newly keen on keane

Posted on December 17, 2006 by muffybolding

Last night my darling 15 year old baby goat plugged her pink ipod into my stereo and this song, by the British band, Keane, filled my car. It’s was so lovely, all I could do was listen and wipe away … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 8 Comments

show ’em where you’re from, natasha

Posted on December 16, 2006 by muffybolding

She is, without question, one of the most talented actors I have ever worked with — and also one of the most profoundly troubled. She is a living testament to what can happen when far too much responsibility is heaped … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 10 Comments

august 2006: muffy vants some schvantz

Posted on December 15, 2006 by muffybolding

After coming in from the sweltering Florida rain, Miss Snapper Bruschetta blows out her candles and makes a heartfelt wish for world peace and a good, hard schtupping.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

hello, hello…skullduggery central, may i help you?

Posted on December 13, 2006 by muffybolding

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody…come sit next to me.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) I know this sounds just terrible…but in my line of work, I am privy to so much goddamned juicy celebrity gossip … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 82 Comments