Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

the devil and miss jones

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don’t fuck with a wolverine

A woman from Michigan and another from the East coast were seated side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from Michigan, being friendly and all, said: “So, where are you from?” The East coast woman pursed her lips, turned to her … Continue reading

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nashville pussy

Well, Mr. Sizemore arrived and he is everything — in EVERY FUCKING WAY — that we expected. He is loud, brash, bawdy, funny, and brilliant. Jesus christ, he is brilliant. When the camera starts rolling, he quite literally takes your … Continue reading

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my heart

Although I am far away from him right now — and even though we don’t really “do” the romantic holidays, as it’s much more fun to celebrate EVERY GOTTDAMNED DAY we get to spend together — I just wanted to … Continue reading

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good ol’ fayshunned location

Even as I type this, we are shooting the film Furnace at the spooky old Nashville State Penitentiary, in the freezing cold dead of winter. First things first: Nashville is motherfucking COLD — colder than a whore’s heart. I had … Continue reading

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one from the much-missed senor mckenna

“Culture replaces authentic feeling with words. As an example of this, imagine an infant lying in its cradle, and the window is open, and into the room comes something, marvelous, mysterious, glittering, shedding light of many colors, movement, sound, a … Continue reading

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a quick query for those who would know far better than i

One question: Bitch or Bust? Thank you. And now, back to our regular schedule of packing and panicking.

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grocery list for last week

Inspired by the ever sexy and at the previous behest of the lovely and currently skull-pained . Hope it somehow helps your headache to know the details of that which currently dwells within my refrigerator and pantry. It should also … Continue reading

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factum est

It is done.

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into the belly of the beast

“Because, truly, if you’re thin and have the right haircut in Los Angeles…miracles can happen.” — CJ Arabia, writer

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 12 Comments