Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

beauty

Posted on April 8, 2006 by muffybolding

Perhaps it is because I am in the midst of a sickness-induced delirium…or maybe even because my maternal grandfather was born in Manila and I am a quarter fucking Flip…but, for some reason, even in all of it’s hideousness, I … Continue reading →

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and then there’s muff

Posted on April 7, 2006 by muffybolding

The only good part about this bastard cold from which I am currently suffering, is that when I speak…I sound exactly like Bea Arthur. God’ll getcha for that, Walter.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 12 Comments

priceless

Posted on March 27, 2006 by muffybolding

From rotten.com: Dateline Germany, January 2005. Police in the sleepy hamlet of Bayreuth are in a bit of a pickle. Someone — or something — is jamming miniature toothpick flag portraits of U.S. President George W Bush into piles of … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 28 Comments

in honor of our lunch meeting with him today…

Posted on March 17, 2006 by muffybolding

on set and in character in Nashville with a double chin, a RAGING bouffant, and Eddie of the fucking Cruisers:

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 114 Comments

blimey! another meme.

Posted on March 13, 2006 by muffybolding

1. How tall are you barefoot? You know, I used to lie like a dirty lying bastard about my height – but I no longer care that I am nothing more than a stunted hobbit. Also, the babies are now … Continue reading →

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it’s a hard-sell life

Posted on March 13, 2006 by muffybolding

Last night, Gregory and I excitedly settled down for a long winter’s viewing of the much-anticipated return of Tony Soprano and the boys. As expected, it fucking rocked — no surprises with the quality of the writing or acting; it … Continue reading →

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from the bangs that inspired a million poseurs

Posted on March 13, 2006 by muffybolding

Page Reveals Childhood Trauma Iconic American beauty Bettie Page has spoken out about the abuse and neglect she suffered as a child in a new newspaper interview. The 82-year-old former pin-up and early porn star, dubbed the Queen of Curves, … Continue reading →

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word

Posted on March 8, 2006 by muffybolding

“Having children flips the game from being about you to being about what you can create in a home and what your responsibilities are. I’ve thought about quitting, but I love what I do so much – it’s the big … Continue reading →

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miss maggie, we hardly knew ye

Posted on March 3, 2006 by muffybolding

Booker winner’s robot brainwave may spell the end of the book tour Novelist’s invention means that authors on one continent can autograph volumes on another By Anthony Barnes 19 February 2006 The bizarre, futuristic device would not be out of … Continue reading →

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the devil-faced angel and miss jones

Posted on February 26, 2006 by muffybolding

Although it’s not something I am necessarily proud of, for the most part I — along with the entire pack of treacherous, delightful Jackals of which I am a proud founding member — am completely hideous and jaded when it … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 90 Comments