Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

me

Posted on May 28, 2005 by muffybolding

Oh, and just in case any of youse thinks that my previous post is what I look like in real life (and for those of you who do — FUCK OFF, LADY. That mullet would be epic even in hell)…here … Continue reading →

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god help us all

Posted on May 28, 2005 by muffybolding

Well, you asked for her…and here she is. Mesdames et Messieurs — I give you: Miss Sandy Culpepper. I’M BUTCH!

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 11 Comments

prancing goat

Posted on May 28, 2005 by muffybolding

Do you ever wonder what your kids are up to when you’re not around? Well, my friends, recently the heavens opened up for one small second and allowed me to peer inside the realm of the normally unknowable. I was … Continue reading →

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do

Posted on May 28, 2005 by muffybolding

Along the same lines as my recent post regarding your lj screen names: I would like to know what it is you do for a living. Artist? Accountant? Data entry gnome? Rosie the Riveter? Indian Chief? Hooker? Stay at home … Continue reading →

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what’s your handle? come on back, good buddy!

Posted on May 25, 2005 by muffybolding

This may sound ridiculous, but after a couple of years of knowing many of you, I STILL can’t figure out what in hell is up with several of your lj names. I mean, I can certainly decipher the obvious, inherent, … Continue reading →

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you gotta be fucking kidding me

Posted on May 24, 2005 by muffybolding

Yeah. Phil Spector is completely sane enough to stand trial for the murder of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson. Fully. Music producer Phil Spector is shown in Superior Court judge Monday, May 23, 2005, in Los Angeles. Phil Spector, later after … Continue reading →

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‘ the fuck?

Posted on May 23, 2005 by muffybolding

All joking and the fact that I loathe him aside…I think that Tom Cruise may actually be losing his fucking mind. When he starts flinging his own feces…the madness shall be complete: Pay no attention to that rabid, lying, maniacally … Continue reading →

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Posted on May 23, 2005 by muffybolding

And speaking of my friend, Leslie, aside from his recent tour de force appearances on “Will and Grace” and “Boston Public”, he is hitting the road with his hilarious and stunning one-man show, “Like A Dog On Linoleum.” If you … Continue reading →

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chi chi

Posted on May 23, 2005 by muffybolding

So, Friday we shot the pilot for that series I told you about last week. It was, of course, a blast. I stalked around the set in my hideous mullet wig and combat boots — raising my fists high above … Continue reading →

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pleh

Posted on May 23, 2005 by muffybolding

Judge me, get over your bad self, and then offer me aid, goddamnit. I need suggestions for the following: 1) Yummy, easy recipes for dinner. I am bored and uninspired in the kitchen. 2) Movies. I am bored and uninspired … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 24 Comments