Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

amen, brother

Posted on May 21, 2005 by muffybolding

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell

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butch

Posted on May 17, 2005 by muffybolding

Last Summer, I went to a costume party in L.A. dressed, along with my best friend and writing partner, Billy, like a couple of fab diesel dyke twins named Connie and Sandy Culpepper — complete with plaid Pendleton shirts, Billie … Continue reading →

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happy madre’s day!

Posted on May 8, 2005 by muffybolding

I got priceless cards and flowers from the babies and a bunch of Burt’s Bees stuff and a box of COOL kitschy postcards and an Edith Piaf and a Richard Wagner CD from the cute piglet. But the best part? … Continue reading →

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because i never, ever, ever do memes like this…

Posted on May 4, 2005 by muffybolding

I have decided to bump my comfort zone and do this one (and also because I’m GENUINELY curious as to what people will ask me…if anything!): The Secret Question Meme Ask me any question. Your comment will be screened (i.e. … Continue reading →

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dear god

Posted on April 30, 2005 by muffybolding

Your Birthdate: August 21 Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or … Continue reading →

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i cannot stop belly laughing

Posted on April 30, 2005 by muffybolding

First Teen: “Hey, look at this! It says ‘Train for jobs in beeyotch.’ ” Second Teen: “Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?” Overheard on the subway in New York City, 27 April, 2005.

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homeopathic hooch

Posted on April 13, 2005 by muffybolding

Umm…I would just like to ask why none of youse broads — who are always raving on and on about how fab it is — never, ever, ever mentioned that Rescue Remedy is NOTHING MORE than fucking JACK DANIELS served … Continue reading →

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happy birthday, beastie!

Posted on April 7, 2005 by muffybolding

You are the same age now as I was when I first started dating your father. You have no idea how unbelievable this is to me. You now drive me around the island and throw your arm out in front … Continue reading →

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this fucking rocks

Posted on April 7, 2005 by muffybolding

Muffy Pomeline Bolding’s Aliases Your movie star name: Popcorn Augustino Your fashion designer name is Muffy Dublin Your socialite name is Rhoda Fresno Your fly girl / guy name is M Bol Your detective name is Mouse Bullard Your barfly … Continue reading →

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RIP

Posted on April 6, 2005 by muffybolding

First Robert Creeley, and now Saul Bellow. I imagine they’ll be coming for my beloved WS Merwin soon, and I can scarcely imagine life after that. My heart is breaking. Whatever will we do when they’re all gone? When the … Continue reading →