Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

whereupon muffy goes completely fucking berserk and thins out her friends list THE HARD WAY…

Posted on March 30, 2005 by muffybolding

Hey, kids, it’s the Paranoia Meme — gather ’round the guillotine and sing with the family! 1) You are one of the most hopeful and resilient people I have ever encountered. You wake up every fucking day and just completely … Continue reading →

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pleh

Posted on March 29, 2005 by muffybolding

I was just cleaning up and digging through some various writing files of mine and I stumbled upon that lj “Paranoid Meme” thing I did like two months ago. You know which one I am talking about — the one … Continue reading →

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“it’s friday, i’m in love…”

Posted on March 23, 2005 by muffybolding

I am currently doing an interview for the darling, glorious, and persistent …whilst kickin’ it with my 13 year-old daughter’s pink ipod. Much to my surprise, it is absolutely loaded with Journey and The Cure. My heart is full and … Continue reading →

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never can say good-bye

Posted on March 1, 2005 by muffybolding

Umm…guess whose fatass will be sitting fifth row fucking center for this unbelievably historic shin-dig? Yeah, that’s right. My fatass. Oh, lawdie, sometimes this little Sicilian dame’s life is so fucking good, she can scarcely stand it.

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RIP peter benenson

Posted on March 1, 2005 by muffybolding

And the light dims just a little more… The Man Who Fought for the Forgotten Peter Benenson 1921-2005 Founder of Amnesty International by Antony Barnett There are not many newspaper articles that can genuinely claim to have changed the world … Continue reading →

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chortle

Posted on February 28, 2005 by muffybolding

“No matter how beautiful she may be, there is somebody somewhere who is tired of her shit.” — A decal seen on the back window of a new Ford Mustang in San Diego, California, February, 2005

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RIP HST

Posted on February 28, 2005 by muffybolding

When my first marriage ended, it was not with a bang…but with a very civil whimper. There was no bickering, no haggling, no attorneys. There was not a single material possession over which my ex-husband and I argued. With one … Continue reading →

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bits and pieces

Posted on February 21, 2005 by muffybolding

1) …for the love of christ, email me. I am your humble and rueful servant and interviewee — if you’ll still have me. 2) …when you are in San Diego next month to visit UCSD, I absolutely insist on buying … Continue reading →

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guess who’s back? back again?

Posted on February 21, 2005 by muffybolding

“I’ve been too fucking busy and vice versa.” — Dorothy Parker I tell you true, I don’t like it. When it’s all rainy and gloomy and blustery like this, I like stacking pillows and blankets on the couch and watching … Continue reading →

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in my delirium

Posted on January 9, 2005 by muffybolding

Lines from “The Large Predatory Feline In The Coldest Season Of The Year” Prince Geoffrey: “You fool. As if it matters how a man falls.” Prince Richard: “When the fall is all that’s left, it matters a great deal.”