Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

capote is GOD

Posted on May 24, 2004 by muffybolding

“We all know that a fag is a homosexual gentleman who has just left the room.” — Truman Capote

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 6 Comments

go see…miss bee!

Posted on May 24, 2004 by muffybolding

…the brilliant writer (as well as my fine Finnish compadre) will be out and about in the coming month, grandly sashaying through a town near you on tour with her latest tome, Mamaphonic — an anthology celebrating the sometimes joyous, … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 12 Comments

after seeing this…

Posted on May 22, 2004 by muffybolding

how could you NOT vote for this handsome bastard?

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 16 Comments

another shot o’ truth, please

Posted on May 22, 2004 by muffybolding

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” — Mitch Ratliffe

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

read it and weep, baby; and then VOTE WISELY

Posted on May 22, 2004 by muffybolding

Here it is, kids…all spelled out for you in black and white — no horseshit whatsoever. The following essay clearly, succinctly, and brilliantly outlines the America in which you and your children will live if Bush is elected to a … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

okay, everybody…hold on tight — here we goooooo!

Posted on May 22, 2004 by muffybolding

Two words: ALL FUCKING TALENT (Okay, that was three words. So, I’m excited, goddamnit. Kiss my ass.) MICHAEL MOORE WINS TOP PRIZE AT CANNES FILM FESTIVAL The Hollywood Reporter U.S director Michael Moore’s critique of President Bush’s war on terror, … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 3 Comments

brilliance

Posted on May 21, 2004 by muffybolding

How odd is it when you discover that someone you “know” — someone whom you have “known” for some time…is a fucking genius? And you had absolutely NO IDEA? This just happened to me last week. I had heard about … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

ain’t it the truth, though

Posted on May 21, 2004 by muffybolding

“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.”   — Charles Bukowski

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

BELLY FUCKING LAUGH

Posted on May 21, 2004 by muffybolding

This morning the alarm went off, and I gingerly ventured into the lair of The Teenage Girls — and of course, MTV was raging, as it always is in the morning when they are getting ready for school. As I … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

friday confession; rock on!

Posted on May 21, 2004 by muffybolding

Okay, fine. Since all you dames always shame me with your honesty, forthrightness and marvelously conspiratorial natures…I will, at long last, do a fucking Friday Confession of my own, goddamnit: Until very recently, this guy was my brother-in-law. Now piss … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 23 Comments