Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

lj friend mememememememememememememememememe

Posted on May 11, 2004 by muffybolding

Best domestic/everyday life posts: Posts that make me belly laugh most frequently: and Best quotes: Best vocabulary: and “Soapiest” posts (i.e., posts that one cannot wait to read the next installment of to find out what happens): Best work posts: … Continue reading →

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name that torment!

Posted on May 6, 2004 by muffybolding

Amidst all the swirling controversy and scandal regarding the recent allegations that American soldiers have been abusing their Iraqi prisoners by several imaginative and rather unpleasant methods comes the report that those abuses include the charge of enforced sleep deprivation. … Continue reading →

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for my finnish homie

Posted on May 2, 2004 by muffybolding

“Let’s face the obvious: yesterday we were nerds, today we’re the cognitive elite. Let’s conquer.” — Chester G. Edwards

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nicked from the darling

Posted on April 30, 2004 by muffybolding

Am I a goddess…or a hooker? YOU decide: http://muffybolding.friendtest.com Edited to add: This friendtest thingie is the FUNNEST THING EVER! I absolutely love it when I find something that tickles my cockles and sprinkles my scones. Therefore, I hereby pronounce … Continue reading →

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bookies, bookies everywhere…and not a drop to drink!

Posted on April 29, 2004 by muffybolding

I have a question — and know that THIS is just the place to find the answers I seek. I am looking for the titles of those books on feminist theory that most shook up your world and changed the … Continue reading →

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happy birthday, beastie

Posted on April 7, 2004 by muffybolding

Seventeen years ago today, you burst forth from my belly, Aries — DROP DEAD gorgeous, full of spirit and exuberance, and ready to shop. Your first sentence was, “Do lunch, Mama?” And today, you spend the anniversary of your birth … Continue reading →

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yeah. who’s bad?

Posted on April 6, 2004 by muffybolding

That’s right, boys — Mama’s bad. Mexican Woman Performs Own Caesarean to Save Baby Women from Rural Region Delivers Healthy Boy With Aid of Kitchen Knife, Liquor LONDON (April 6) – A pregnant woman in Mexico gave birth to a … Continue reading →

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meme fever: QUITE LITERALLY!

Posted on April 4, 2004 by muffybolding

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: “…but beyond this, I do not think we can safely go.” (from the introduction to George Eliot’s “Middlemarch”) 2: Stretch your … Continue reading →

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“god is great, god is good…let us thank him, for our fud…”

Posted on March 31, 2004 by muffybolding

What’s the last thing you ate? A big-ass salada ala cuchada with baby greens, cherry tomatoes, green onions, crumbled danish bleu cheese, cottage cheese, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. What’s your favorite cheese? I am an absolute CHEESE FREAK. But … Continue reading →

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friendship

Posted on March 30, 2004 by muffybolding

I just received an email from Kirby, one of the girlfriends from my lecherous and distant past whom I have held close perhaps longer than any other. She even pre-dates Satania, for chrissake — and trust me, that’s saying something. … Continue reading →