Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

overheard last night as we were leaving pizza parlor with several old school video game machines

Posted on March 21, 2004 by muffybolding

Cute Nine Year Old Boy Child: “Piggie? What’s the difference between Pac-Man and Ms. Pac- Man?” Cute Husband: “Ms. Pac-Man has tits.” Cute Nine Year Old Boy Child: “Oh, okay. Thanks, Piggie.” I adore my family.

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this is fucking NO-talent

Posted on March 19, 2004 by muffybolding

I absolutely adore Tammy Faye. Former Tammy Faye Bakker tells Larry King she has inoperable lung cancer March 19, 2004 LOS ANGELES (AP) – Former televangelist Tammy Faye Messner announced Thursday on CNN’s Larry King Live she has inoperable lung … Continue reading →

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RIP JJ

Posted on March 19, 2004 by muffybolding

J.J. Jackson says hello on MTV for the first time on August 1, 1981 J.J. Jackson, One Of MTV’s Original VJs, Dies At Age 62 March 18th, 2004 J.J. Jackson, remembered as one of the first faces of MTV, died … Continue reading →

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humbled

Posted on March 18, 2004 by muffybolding

“I felt that if I accepted the reward, I would lose the beauty inside of me…” — Mexico City taxi driver, Manuel Lubian, father-of-two, who spent two days hunting down a passenger who had left $53,000 in his cab…then returned … Continue reading →

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call me al

Posted on March 12, 2004 by muffybolding

“If you Call Me” Meme If you call me… Nay Nay…you are probably one of my vast legions of nieces and nephews. To them, I am Auntie Nay Nay – and they know to give up the kisses to Auntie … Continue reading →

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divine destiny

Posted on March 11, 2004 by muffybolding

“Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?” –Jules Feiffer (For . With love…from me)

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can i get an amen for brother bertrand?

Posted on March 11, 2004 by muffybolding

“The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral was, as we see in the passages of St. Paul, based upon the view that all sexual intercourse, even within marriage, is regrettable. A view of this sort, which goes … Continue reading →

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chapter one: things that pucker my bung

Posted on March 4, 2004 by muffybolding

When annoying bastards insist on pronouncing their name completely different from how it’s spelled. For example: The name Naomi…is spelled N-A-O-M-I, not Noemi…N-O-E-M-I. That’d be pronounced “No-way-mee” or “No-wee-mee.” C’mon people, let’s get it right. It’s not that fucking difficult. … Continue reading →

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i love the image of this

Posted on March 2, 2004 by muffybolding

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, pristine, and well-preserved body…but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Christ…what a fucking ride!’”

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so…yeah. what he said.

Posted on February 27, 2004 by muffybolding

“Everybody’s born to do a certain thing and if you’re dead jammy you find it. And if you’re good at it just keep doing it until you’re fed up, then do something else. You’re here to make babies and look … Continue reading →

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