Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

motherfucker

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“Uh-huh. Yeah, I heard you, motherfucker.” HA! ‪#‎fiercebaby‬

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all hail bill

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Posted without additional comment…because, really — WHAT ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID? ‪#‎whereisyourgodnowmoses‬ ‪#‎goodwithoutgod‬

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butch

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Ol’ Dr. Laura just posted a picture of her BUTCH new muscle car, a 2012 Dodge Challenger. Mother of God…HOW MUCH PUSSY CAN ONE WOMAN EAT?  

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truth

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Fact #626: As definitive testament to my treacherous upbringing and scandalous past, when I am out and about sashaying the town and someone inexplicably recognizes me and asks, “Excuse me? Are you Muffy Bolding?”, my very first impulse, … Continue reading →

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guuuuuurl

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

…won’t you please come home? ‪#‎noseriouslybitch‬ ‪#‎allhorseshitaside‬ ‪#‎ibegofyou‬  ‪#‎iimploreofyou‬ ‪#‎ijustcomerightoutandaxeyou‬ ‪#‎girlgetyoursweetasshome‬‪#‎ripfreshandeasyhighlandpark‬

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yaaaaaaas queen

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Oh, for fuck’s sake…CALM DOWN, MARY. ‪#‎fuckthisguy‬ ‪#‎thisqueendontknow‬

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my sister in childhood biologically-indentured servitude

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“Then her father’s second marriage, the stepmother, the drudgery, because she was the oldest girl in a house filled with eight children and so was pressed into adult service, cleaning and wiping and changing, when she was still a child … Continue reading →

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obedience/rebellion

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.” — C.P. Snow

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elsie

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play Life is a cabaret, old chum Come to the cabaret Put down the knitting, the book and the broom It’s time for a holiday Life is a … Continue reading →

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betty sue

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

From April 7th: I would like to wish the HAPPIEST, Most JOYOUS, Most MAGNIFICENT 29th Birthday to my FIERCE, FABULOUS, MAGICAL, BELOVED Baby Unicorn, Betsy — an event which, in fact, VAPORIZES the Space-Time Continuum, seeing that I am only 27, myself. … Continue reading →

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