Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

spark it up

Posted on March 17, 2016 by muffybolding

Oh, hey. That one time I was on film location and my fatass got bent over an ancient butcher’s block like an ancient Sicilian whore and had a screeching REAL chainsaw held above my Florida Evans Neck by an AWESOME, … Continue reading →

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FINALLY

Posted on March 17, 2016 by muffybolding

FINALLY! Even though my fatass has been HOWLING wildly about this for several years now, the UTTER FRUSTRATION of getting it JUST RIGHT and accommodating EVERYFUCKINGBODY’S SPECIFIC FEMINIST AGENDA in EVERY single legitimate and powerful statement in support of … Continue reading →

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orville redenbacher, dds

Posted on January 12, 2016 by muffybolding

For me, the most interesting thing about Jewel is that she always looks like she’s got a mouth full of popcorn — and coming from the trashy, working class myself, I can totally respect a broad with fucked-up teeth. Christ, … Continue reading →

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tap, tap, tap

Posted on January 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Now that I am back quick jump strut into the thick of it, I have a fast query for all my writer/author/penner/pecker/typer/scrawler/wordsmith friends out there in The Great Somewhere: Tell me true…where do you do it? Myself…I like to write … Continue reading →

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joan

Posted on January 12, 2016 by muffybolding

I am spending this gorgeous Los Angeles day raking lizards off the trees and building complicated constructions out of forks and knives.

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life. mine.

Posted on January 11, 2016 by muffybolding

“The very things that hold you down are going to lift you up.” – Walt Disney’s, “Dumbo” Now that the holidays are done and once again lovingly stowed away in their special red and green plastic bins in … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on December 4, 2015 by muffybolding

DEAD FUCKING ON.

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truth

Posted on December 4, 2015 by muffybolding

Also, THIS. DEAD ON. All these 19 year old college students marching into the administration office and demanding trigger warnings in a class studying Classical Greek Mythology because there is a TWO THOUSAND YEAR OLD FAIRYTALE SWAN RAPE in the … Continue reading →

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