Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

agnes

Posted on October 12, 2015 by muffybolding

Even though there were many more to come in my life…when I was a little girl, this is the very first drag queen I ever fell in love with: Miss Agnes Moorehead as Endora.

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one

Posted on October 12, 2015 by muffybolding

One day about ten years ago, when I lived on Coronado Island in San Diego, I was driving around town…running errands and taking care of the daily business of living, and, like I always do whilst in the car, I … Continue reading →

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where have you gone, ol’ ted neeley-o…a nation turns its lonely eyes to you

Posted on October 8, 2015 by muffybolding

OL’. JESUS. FUCKING. RULES. #manifthatrighteousbadasscamebacktodayhowmuchwouldheHATEchristians

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double-tap and DESPAIR

Posted on October 8, 2015 by muffybolding

FREAKY DEEP CREEPIN’ IS NEAT. #ifyoudoubletapthatscreenilldoubletapthatskull

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put a fork in my fatass

Posted on October 8, 2015 by muffybolding

It’s official: I AM RUINED. #vannawhitecanfuckbutthatsALLshecando

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sagan inhaled

Posted on October 7, 2015 by muffybolding

Though I spoke in full sentences whilst still an infant (this fact having been verified by medical specialists) and could read tawdry grown-up novels like, “Valley of the Dolls”when most children are still learning their colors (okay, okay, so I’M A … Continue reading →

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seven

Posted on October 7, 2015 by muffybolding

The Seven Deadly Sins; Day 1 — Pride. Seven awesome things about yourself: 1) I’m a HUGE belly laugher – and I can and do belly laugh at ANYTHING…even tragedy and horror. In fact, belly laughing is how I survive tragedy … Continue reading →

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movies!

Posted on October 7, 2015 by muffybolding

Tagged by my GLORIOUS GUSBAND…that INSUFFERABLE CUNT, Miss Jackie Beat. Rules: Don’t think about it too long, but list 15 movies that will stay with you always. Because it’s my lucky goddamned number and my favorite goddamned number, and because … Continue reading →

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