Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

meeces

Posted on August 14, 2015 by muffybolding

A PROUD Mama and her BEAUTIFUL BELOVED BABY GOAT…frolicking beneath the waterfalls at Disneyland…and improvising our very own version of MOUSE EARS. So fancy! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Goatie Lou!

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john

Posted on August 14, 2015 by muffybolding

Words of profound wisdom from one of my most FAVORITE characters of all time in one of my most FAVORITE movies of all time. He is the LEAST complicated character in the movie…and the MOST complicated character in the movie…ALL … Continue reading →

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just STFU and laugh

Posted on August 4, 2015 by muffybolding

This, Mein Muthafuckas. THIS.

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culla

Posted on August 4, 2015 by muffybolding

Not surprisingly, as both a writer and a lunatic, I am VERY influenced by my surroundings…and foremost among those influences on my mood, mental health, creativity, and productivity are two main factors: 1) The Weather. I cannot stress enough how … Continue reading →

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atticus rex

Posted on August 4, 2015 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Fact #227: When I first heard that Miss Harper Lee had climbed up on an untouchable cultural and literary mountain top, shimmied down her granny panties, squatted down, and took a HUGE STEAMING DUMP on it by writing … Continue reading →

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rick and viv

Posted on August 3, 2015 by muffybolding

Miss Viv helping me plan our mass Autumn decampment to The South Of Fucking France. #antibes #villaamerica #rakingthesandwithgerald #wearingmypearlsbackwardsonthebeach #fleeonmydonkey #glamorousepicwriterslife #nahnotreallyijustwanttoeatcheeseandgetnailedwhilstwearingaberetandtrianglemustachedrawnonwithablacksharpiepen #fattielikesflavor #luckyslut  

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broads

Posted on July 24, 2015 by muffybolding

Honestly. How LUCKY can one Old Hooker be? A DELIGHTFUL lunch last week at The Grand Central Market in Downtown LA with My Girls — who are comprised of not only BRILLIANT New York Times bestselling author, artist, and SERIOUS … Continue reading →

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defeat

Posted on July 21, 2015 by muffybolding

“All my life, I’ve been fearful of defeat. But, now that it has come, it’s not near as terrible as I’d expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good…glory is all well and good, but life is enough, nay?” … Continue reading →

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check

Posted on July 17, 2015 by muffybolding

Recently, Louisiana Governor, FERVENT, VOCAL, RABID, Anti-Choice Advocate, and Republican Presidential Candidate Hopeful, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, who was BORN here in the United States after his parents moved here while his mother was pregnant — meaning, of course, that he … Continue reading →

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oh, yes

Posted on July 9, 2015 by muffybolding

‪#‎mamalove‬ ‪#‎mamatruth‬ ‪#‎woodenspoon‬ ‪#‎showwood‬ ‪#‎theenforcer‬ ‪#‎bonzobonhamonyourbottom‬ ‪#‎idontgiveafuckifyoureallgrownupmamawillstillkicksomebabyass‬ ‪#‎notreallybutamamacandreamcanti‬

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