Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

TRUTH

Between the common citizens risking their very lives by courageously protesting in the streets of The Ukraine, Venezuela, Syria, and elsewhere…all towards the goal of freedom, dignity, decency, human rights, and self-determination…THE WORLD? SHE IS RAGING. And, meanwhile, back in … Continue reading

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TM hearts you

Always remember and don’t ever forget: TUBBY MEDUSA LOVES YOU. Always.

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true love

Let me tell you something, Mein Poppets. I would give up my precious, priceless poochie — Miss Pearlie Mae — just as soon as I’d give up one of my fucking children. In other words, THAT AIN’T HAPPENING. I would … Continue reading

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truth

Gosh, how odd, shocking, and discombobulating is it when — with a little time earned world experience under your belt — you suddenly open your eyes and realize that someone you once thought was really intelligent, inspirational, original, and unique…turns … Continue reading

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jeopardy

“‘Ruthless Old Hookers’ for $800, Alex.”

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zines!

FUCK. YESH. — An Old Tart sashaying about at L.A. ZINE FEST 2014.

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poseurs

This right here is a most clueless, exuberant 13 year old me astride a bale of hay, at Tenaya Junior High School in Fresno, California, posing hard in RED DITTOS at an afternoon sock hop (hence, LE SOCKS) with my very … Continue reading

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minnie and roman

When that vicious bitch, Miss Jackie Beat, and I finally get around to having an actual Gusband/Slusband (Gay Husband/Straight Lady Husband) promise ceremony in the presence of Maude and all our beloved friends, family, and Framily — QUITE LITERALLY in … Continue reading

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fey

And this is PRECISELY why I vow to NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. “I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all ‘crazy.’ I have a suspicion … Continue reading

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mrs. vreeland

As I was flying down the 134 today, on my way home from an afternoon spent seated blissfully beside my brilliant writing partner, a most interesting truth unexpectedly emerged from the cloudy sky above me and slowly bored its way … Continue reading

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