Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

chief

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Fact #1712: The iconic crying Indian Chief in those “Keep America Beautiful” PSA’s from our youth was named Iron Eyes Cody…and not only was he NOT Native American — he was Sicilian. His real name was Espera de … Continue reading →

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partner in crime

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

Every girl should be so fucking lucky to spend her work days thusly: Creating entire worlds with a kind, charming, interesting, astonishing, brilliant, hilarious, degenerate genius. Universe? THANK YOU.

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la

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

“I moved to Los Angeles because my wife and I decided we had to live in the city with the most substance in the United States. And I do not regret it for a second. Don’t be misled by the … Continue reading →

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will

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, ‘Choose.’ Sean: Gotta go with the belt, there. Will: I used to go with the wrench. Sean: The wrench, why? Will: … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

And, while you’re at it…GO FUCK YOURSELF.

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fran

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

‪#‎oldbroadstothefront‬

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truth

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

‪#‎blackgirlstothefront‬ ‪#‎gaymentothefront‬ ‪#‎ruthlesstruthtellerstothefront‬

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the reason

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

REAL WISTFUL and SELF-SATISFIED. ‪#‎theproudpunaniportalofprogeny‬

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whut

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

Problem solved. ‪#‎oldwhoresayswhut‬

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stfu

Posted on June 8, 2016 by muffybolding

Yeah. Mama has fucking HAD IT with all this annoying, precious, fetishized, commodified, overblown, HORSESHIT, 21st Century parenting. Children who are a COMPLETE imposition on the lives of their TERRIFIED, FECKLESS parents. Children who are pushed and stressed and over-scheduled … Continue reading →

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