Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

glamour girl at disneyland

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truth. kirk’s.

Fantastic. It’s not even 9 am and I’m already BELLY CRYING. Jesus, this means EVERYTHING TO ME. Wisdom like this humbles me…brings me to my fucking knees: “It seems as if only now I really know who I am. My … Continue reading

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don’t do it

THIS.

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girl zines!

Dogs. Knitting. Husbands. Gusbands. Best Friends. Korean Hot Pot Tofu Soup. Girl Power. Trees. Solitude. Clarity. The perfect line. Grey, blustery days. Disneyland. Belly laughing. Southwest France. A cardigan sweater. The smell of my children’s heads. Long, hot baths. Uncle … Continue reading

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hersute

This right here? THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING DO IT. This gentle, fierce, honest woman is my TOTAL HERO. TRUTH IS EVERYTHING. TRUTH WILL CHANGE THE WORLD. It certainly changed the heart and mind of one guy with the laughingly … Continue reading

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gratitude

When I am loyal to someone who is worthy of my loyalty…I am loyal TO THE DEATH. When I champion someone…I champion them COMPLETELY. When I love someone…I love them with ALL THAT I AM. And, man, oh, man…when I … Continue reading

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ira

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you … Continue reading

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faxl

You know how many women got called FAT BITCHES to their face by this guy back in the day? Yeah. AXL ROSE CAN SUCK MY FAT DICK.

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dear oscie

Don’t you just LOVE IT when this happens? When you meet someone so brilliant, so rare, so utterly fascinating, that you just want to devour them whole…and take them into your body like a communion wafer? I KNOW I DO. … Continue reading

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a dream

Every once in awhile, we get lucky enough to have one of the greatest moments of our lives captured in a photograph. For me, this is one of those times. After Jackie Beat announced that she wanted some photos with … Continue reading

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