Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

miss sophia

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age.” … Continue reading

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miss angie

A couple of years ago, a very good friend and colleague of mine had the distinct pleasure of a lunch date with that magnificent Hollywood legend, Miss Angie Dickinson, at the infamous Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel. Over … Continue reading

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angelica

Age. This is how you fucking do it with style, grace, and FEROCITY. God, I am in love with her. “Where there is age there is evolution, where there is life there is growth.” — Anjelica Huston

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baby in summerland

Because he serenades me with it in the car and gives this ol’ Fag Hag some SERIOUS tummy-flutters and goosebumps, this song will always and forever remind me of my sweet, dashing, and brilliant Gusband, Miss Jackie Beat — who … Continue reading

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hot

My awesome friend, Miss Jenny Strauss, just posted the following hilarious admission on her Facebook page: “Confession: I think less of people with hotmail accounts. At least until I talk myself out of it.” And here’s my own such confession: … Continue reading

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teddy

Teddy, me boy, I only wish you could have lived long enough to see the “cause of your life” realized. It is done. “Quality care shouldn’t depend on your financial resources, or the type of job you have, or the … Continue reading

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guuuuuuuuurl

These ignorant, inbred motherfuckers have clearly confused “violent”…with “FIERCE.” PS) And, while you’re here, please don’t forget to enjoy that Intellectual Giant’s left foot POETICALLY STANDING ON THE AMERICAN FLAG, won’t you? Some things you just can’t make up, my … Continue reading

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requiescat in pace, miss nora

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” — Miss Nora Ephron. Writer, director, essayist, and all-around magnificent, fearless, truth-telling broad.

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pickle bite

As a longtime Vegetarian — and, as of last year, enthusiastic Vegan — it has been ages and ages since I last scarfed a burger of any kind. And though I no longer support any of the meat production industries … Continue reading

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lucy

“I’m not funny. What I am is brave.” — Lucille Ball

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