Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

kiss

Posted on June 20, 2012 by muffybolding

If you look closely at this photo — taken two weeks ago at his 18th birthday dinner — you can see the dog bite scar on my son’s right cheek, which he got when he was 2, from a beloved … Continue reading →

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vive le roi

Posted on June 19, 2012 by muffybolding

“It’s really too bad people only live for less-than-or-equal-to a century. We should be more like the earth. Geology not biology. Think about the awe-inspiring things we would become if only we could get a millennium or eighty under our … Continue reading →

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dame judi

Posted on June 16, 2012 by muffybolding

Judi Dench is a hero of mine — an older woman who does it with style, grace, fearlessness, sass, and elegance. She is a beacon of golden light that illuminates the path for all of us broads who follow her. … Continue reading →

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off track

Posted on June 14, 2012 by muffybolding

Attention Mein Poppets: The next WICKED ANNOYING TRENDFUCK who uses the HORSESHIT term, “OMBRE” either in my presence or on my Facebook feed — or, even worse, pays $300 to get their hair dyed TO LOOK LIKE THEY NEED TO … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

This much I know to be true: A scalding hot bath — and AWESOME SHAMPOO ANTLERS — can solve any problem, soothe any hurt, and once again fill the world with awe, wonder…and love.

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wayback machine

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

Speaking of interesting lives — I never, ever, ever seem to get tired of watching this AWESOME video…filmed BEFORE things became what they eventually did. The band is brilliant, yes. The roughness and DIY feel of the thing is completely … Continue reading →

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at the launderette

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

Yup. That’s me on the right. An Old Fresno Hooker…back when she was still a Young Fresno Hooker — and deep into her delusion that she was a member of The Go Gos — just before she packed it in, … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

To say that technology has changed our lives is an understatement. A majority of the most important, profound, cherished relationships I have would not be but for this magical screen in front of me. With that said…technology does have its … Continue reading →

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i’m a snarl-toother seether

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

I am accepting of everyone’s personal belief system — whatever gets you through the night, baby. Whatever helps you to survive what you gotta survive. But as I was driving on the freeway this morning, blasting Veruca Salt, it occurred … Continue reading →

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pinhead

Posted on June 12, 2012 by muffybolding

Listen to me. Pinterest is devouring me WHOLE. I. AM. OBSESSED. I cannot stop pinning everything in my path. Do you understand what I am telling you? NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL I FUCKING PIN IT TO MY WALL. NOTHING ELSE … Continue reading →

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