Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

RIP hitchens

Posted on December 16, 2011 by muffybolding

This quote just LAID MY FATASS OUT. I offer up to both it and Mr. Hitchens the greatest accolade I am able: GODDAMN, I WISH I’D WRITTEN THAT. “Death will happen to all of us. At some point you get … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on December 16, 2011 by muffybolding

“What can be asserted without proof, can be dismissed without proof.” — That DELIGHTFULLY DEAD-ON (and now, unfortunately, DEAD) antitheist Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011

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hitch

Posted on December 16, 2011 by muffybolding

Regarding the late Mr. Hitchens: Make no mistake…there is a LOT of what he wrote with which I vehemently disagree — but GODDAMNIT, I admire and even envy the FEROCIOUS FREEDOM with which he wrote it. He was FEARLESS — … Continue reading →

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feel the burn

Posted on December 15, 2011 by muffybolding

Though I don’t partake myself, I am totally and completely down with the expansion of one’s consciousness through the use of hallucinogenic substances. Furthermore, I would guess that a rather large percentage of the art, music, and film that has … Continue reading →

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call me slim

Posted on November 19, 2011 by muffybolding

Perhaps it’s just having the mindset of a writer that makes it so — always humming, murmuring, thinking, mulling over potential titles and monikers — but I have always, even when I was a little girl, been preoccupied with names. … Continue reading →

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bitch 1, pearl 2

Posted on November 18, 2011 by muffybolding

I knit. Incessantly. Ruthlessly. Relentlessly. Unapologetically. I make scarves for those I love — and they are always either named, themed, or both, and they always bear a single vintage button on one end, which is wooed, pursued, and specially … Continue reading →

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here, kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty

Posted on November 15, 2011 by muffybolding

Knitter PLEASE. Fuck this guy. He’s strictly a goddamned amateur. GETTIN’ STRUNG OUT ON CRYSTAL AND EATIN’ SOME SERIOUS PUSSY IS JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY NIGHT FOR THE DEBAUCHEROUS JACKALS WITH WHICH I HANG.

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i <3 markie twain

Posted on November 15, 2011 by muffybolding

“Religion was invented when the first con-man met the first fool.” – Mark Twain

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me, wee

Posted on November 12, 2011 by muffybolding

As an oddly sensitive and highly observant little working class girl from Fresno — who regularly saw sounds and heard the silent souls of others — I always knew I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I … Continue reading →

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mx.

Posted on November 4, 2011 by muffybolding

There have only been three performers in my life throughout whose entire live show I bawled my eyes out from beginning to end and could not stop. FROM BEGINNING TO END: Mr. Ray Davies. Miss Barbra Streisand. and Mx. Justin … Continue reading →

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