Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

bow or burn, baby

Posted on October 29, 2011 by muffybolding

Okay, Mein Poppets, it’s official. Not that it should come as any surprise to anyone who frequents this depraved, villainous space, mind you, but it is now a MATHEMATICAL CERTAINTY: When I finally feed the goddamned tree — after a … Continue reading →

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she’s a beauty

Posted on October 28, 2011 by muffybolding

It isn’t even officially Halloween yet, and my little violet-haired hipster and FASHIONISTA DELUXE, Miss Betsy, has already rocked TWO different costumes! Oh, my stars…it’s astonishing how gazing at my baby gives me such INDESCRIBABLE PLEASURE AND DELIGHT. No matter … Continue reading →

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muff rule #722

Posted on October 28, 2011 by muffybolding

Muff Rule #722: EVERY human being should have to clean houses and/or wait tables at some point in their lives. Not only does it teach you valuable work skills, it also teaches you RESPECT for those who earn their living … Continue reading →

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prolie angst

Posted on October 28, 2011 by muffybolding

Welp. That’s it. Mama has now officially CROSSED THE RUBICON. Because of both time and health issues, this scandalous ruffian from Fresno who is DEFIANTLY PROUD of her working class roots — and who used to clean other people’s houses … Continue reading →

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infirmalicious

Posted on October 28, 2011 by muffybolding

Okay, well, I am still in bed…but at least I am now able TO SIT UP IN BED. This week of HIDEOUS AFFLICTION has been UNPRECEDENTED and STRICTLY OFF TRACK. To my oh, so understanding writing partner, the oh, so … Continue reading →

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gaud bless america!

Posted on October 28, 2011 by muffybolding

Yes, this delightful, little video was made a few days ago for my adorable daughter, Betsy, by the boy who took her to the prom at Coronado High School. Yes, these brave boys are stationed in Iraq. Yes, they are … Continue reading →

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where have you gone, john ono lennon? a nation turns its lonely eyes to you…

Posted on October 26, 2011 by muffybolding

“When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing The System’s game. The Establishment will irritate you, pull your beard, flick your face to make you fight — because once they’ve got you violent, they know … Continue reading →

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by any other name…

Posted on October 25, 2011 by muffybolding

So, these unspeakable dicks actually named their beautiful baby daughters, “Unwanted”, did they? YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS. Yes, yes, I get the argument that unique, possibly ancient, cultural practices are awesome and should be respected — … Continue reading →

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vulgar

Posted on October 24, 2011 by muffybolding

“What is [my] idea of complete sophistication? Complete vulgarity. The vulgar man is always the most sophisticated, for the very desire to be sophisticated is vulgar. And without an element of vulgarity, no man can become a work of art.” … Continue reading →

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HOTTEST. WOMAN. ALIVE.

Posted on October 18, 2011 by muffybolding

“Flesh sells. People don’t want to see pictures of churches. They want to see naked bodies.” — Helen Mirren

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