Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

bollocks

Posted on June 29, 2010 by muffybolding

Regarding The World Cup: How fucking FURIOUS is the entire globe that the annoying, bullying, obnoxious, bitch-hawg Americans are now jumping on the bandwagon of what up to this point has been the ONLY big thing in the world with … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on June 29, 2010 by muffybolding

Today I was pondering life and death and truth and mortality whilst sitting in traffic on the 5, when the following thought came into my head and I found it both clarifying and comforting: If Frank FUCKING Sinatra can die, … Continue reading →

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truth

Posted on June 29, 2010 by muffybolding

This morning I was pondering life and death and truth and mortality whilst sitting in traffic on the 5, when the following thought came into my head and I found it both clarifying and comforting: If Frank FUCKING Sinatra can … Continue reading →

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meat to the balls

Posted on June 29, 2010 by muffybolding

“We are the CIT’s so pity us. The kids are brats the food is hideous. We’re gonna smoke and drink and fool around. (We’re nookie bound.) We’re the North Star CIT’s.”

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truth

Posted on June 26, 2010 by muffybolding

Vacuous Muff Fact #966: The Four Right Chords CAN ABSOLUTELY make my fatass cry.

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truth

Posted on June 24, 2010 by muffybolding

Well, I’ll be goddamned. I ACTUALLY GREW UP TO BE A DEBASER.

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chocolat

Posted on June 23, 2010 by muffybolding

A public service message to all you gullible, self-deluded, Whole Foods-shopping, Subaru-driving, hippie muthafuckas all up in through here — and, believe me, this comes from a place of love: You can horseshit yourselves ALL you want, goddamnit — but … Continue reading →

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guuuuuurl

Posted on June 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Right. Like ol’ Harry Potter got ANY room to talk. Yes, Justin Bieber looks like Ally Sheedy in “The Breakfast Club”…but did you ever see Radcliffe in “Equus”? Knitter, PLEASE — that little queen’s got a Crab Ladder goin’ on … Continue reading →

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