Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

I’d say that judging by all the secret service swarming all over the island and all the governmental helicopters hovering in the air outside my bedroom windows…that The Jackass Has Landed.

My newly-downsized titties are healing nicely (thanks to all who posted good wishes!) The sugery went WELL, and it has been reported (and is now the stuff of legend) that I serenaded my surgeon, anesthesiologist, and assisting nurses with a … Continue reading →

All – It’s the husband here. Just wanted to send the ‘all clear’ out. Muffy had some nausea in the recovery room but is feeling much better now and is snoozing peacefully next to me. I’m feeling much better now … Continue reading →

And now, the end is near…they’ve finally reached, their last unfurling. That’s right, my friends…the day after tomorrow, at 10 a.m., my silly fat ass is going under the gottdamned knife to lose these two fleshy behemoths otherwise known as … Continue reading →

In early 2003, a supporting part had been written for me in a film that was scheduled to be shot in Romania later that Spring. As casting got underway for the main roles, the director and producers sat through countless … Continue reading →

There was a time when I would’ve read this and said, “HA! That’s hilarious! It’ll never really happen, but that’s a great fucking story.” Now, I see us pretty much already there. We have lost so much — and our … Continue reading →

1) Went to the premiere of Rob Zombie’s new horror flick, “The Devil’s Rejects.” Goddamn, that movie was fucking NO. But for the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Zombie and all of the assembled cast and crew were in the … Continue reading →

Doesn’t it just figure that everyone else who is affected by Seasonal Mood Disorder gets fucked up in the lovely, lovely Winter — and my perpetually odd, backwards, insane self drags ass and feels like hammered fuck in the good … Continue reading →

“We took on the Romans, the Saxons, the Danes, the French, William Wallace, the Black Plague, the Roundheads, the Great Fire, Napoleon, the Nazis, the IRA, and the Blitz, and we’re still here. You terrorists are bloody amateurs.” Jesus fucking … Continue reading →