Muffy and Pearlie Mae in The ‘No — posing in the shitter at Supercuts whilst the darling Gregory gets his hairs cut. That’s a little baby girl whose mother likes to kiss her on the lips!
An enduring image from my childhood.
This place is in my ears and in my eyes. Always.
When you are raised poor or in perpetual economic peril, no matter how much money you may ever have in your life, you’re always expecting to have your credit card denied, to have your check bounce, to have your power shut off, to be evicted, to be discriminated against, to be judged, to be arrested. My husband — a Jewish doctor’s son who was raised solidly in the Upper Middle Class — finds it an absolutely mindboggling, inexplicable habit, but to this day, I still religiously save all of my store receipts — not just because I might need to return something…but to have as an alibi should I ever be wrongly accused of a crime. That class insecurity never goes away. Ever.
Blanche: “Ah! Look at the shameless way she’s flirtin’ with him. DIS-GUSTIN’!”
Rose: “You flirted with him.”
Blanche: “I’m from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.”
Rose: “What do you mean?”
Dorothy: “Her mother was a slut, too.”
From one Old Slut to another — thanks for the belly laughs. I’m gonna miss you, Miss Rue. xoxo
In saying that I am no longer able to partake of either the pixilated or the “live poon/scratch n’ sniff” versions myself, I am certainly not judging others who do watch porn — or even those who take part in its making. But, for me, it’s just too much of a reminder of what can go wrong when you have children.
Yes, I know that some women — mostly those with Betty Page bangs, Sailor Jerry tattoos, PT Cruisers, and toddler daughters named Ruby — find empowerment in sex work…but for most, unfortunately, that’s just simply not true. For most, their last hope for Ruby’s future is that she would have to spend her nights taking her clothes off in front of strangers…all so she could feed and clothe her own toddler daughter, Linda (which, trust me, will be a REALLY COOL HIPSTER BABY NAME in about 20 years.)
Anyway, it’s like I always say — if, at the end of my life, I have kept those two adorable little bitches off the pole…THEN I DONE MY JOB, GODDAMNIT.
Vacuous Muff Fact #98: For the past ten years or so (or, more specifically, when our two daughters entered adolescence), pornography in all its glorious forms has been COMPLETELY ruined for both Gregory and I. Christ, I can’t even enjoy a goddamned good ol’ fashioned evening of belly laughter at Jumbo’s Clown Room anymore without constantly being aware of the fact that I am exploiting someone else’s daughter. OFF TRACK.
This is a stock photo of my Queen Bee Creations purse…which I have had for about a million years — the only difference being that I immediately ditched the record and replaced it with THE MOST AMAZING PROFILE PHOTOGRAPH OF MY SISTER, JENNY, DOING A HIDEOUS JABBERJAWS FACE (the glorious, chuckling citizens of Rome especially LOVED LOVED LOVED IT!)
I use this bag every single day and it has been around the world with me several times. It carries both my treasures and my necessities and is practically an extension of myself. Unfortunately, Queen Bee has inexplicably ceased making this style — The 7″ Record Truckette — and, just like the rest of us, my beloved ol’ girl has begun to show her age. I am having no luck on ebay in finding a replacement. Might there be anyone out there within range of my font who possesses such a bag and is willing to sell it to me? I promise, it will go to THE MOST ADORING, LOVING, BELLY LAUGHING HOME EVER. She will accompany me on AMAZING ADVENTURES — of which I promise to send pictures. Let me know. Thanks!
And so…the light brings with it even more incomprehensible tragedy and grief.
Yesterday evening, two of my oldest, dearest, and most treasured friends from Fresno — Bryan and Cathy Lee — unexpectedly lost their 21 year old daughter, Kassie, to a pulmonary embolism.
It is only natural to lionize and glorify a person upon their passing from this world — to celebrate their character, contributions, achievements, and legacy — even if that means remembering them in a light much rosier than they actually cast here during their life.
That is not so with Ms. Kassie Lee; she has made our job easy.
She was simply one of the most charming, sunny, dynamic, brilliant, ambitious, inspiring young women you could ever hope to meet. Her extraordinary parents imbued her with the very best of themselves (which, if you know these two amazing people, is REALLY saying something), and as a result, Kassie embodied, every single day of her life, what is best in all of us. Among her many achievements…in high school, she was a leader and shining star in the Rainbow Girls service organization, she had just graduated with honors last week from Fresno State with a BA in Mass Communications in Journalism/Advertising, and she also served as the delightful co-host of an awesome, progressive home improvement radio show along with her father, Bryan. The loss of this young woman, not only to her shattered family and friends, but to the entire world, is absolutely incalculable.
Kassie was a young woman who was doing EVERYTHING…and in the future, could have done ANYTHING. She touched more lives, achieved more dreams, did more good, inspired more people, and spread more joy in her short 21 years than most people four times her age do in their entire time on this planet. She was a uniquely amazing young woman — and her absence here is a loss to us all.
All my love and prayers go out to you…Bryan, Cathy, Kaitlyn, Karson, and all the countless others who adored her, were changed by having known her, and will miss her…as you begin to deal with the unimaginable loss of your beautiful, brilliant, extraordinary, unforgettable, irreplaceable Kassie.
Kassandra Lee, 1988-2010.
“Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” — Timothy Leary (SO FLATTERING…because yes, the old bastard DID hardcore hit on me in 1993…back, of course, when I didn’t look like Ernest Borgnine.)
“Most human beings today waste some 25 to 30 years of their lives before they break through the actual and conventional lies which surround them.” — Isadora Duncan
muffy bolding 