Regarding The World Cup: How fucking FURIOUS is the entire globe that the annoying, bullying, obnoxious, bitch-hawg Americans are now jumping on the bandwagon of what up to this point has been the ONLY big thing in the world with which we were not really associated? Something that belonged to just them…without our arrogant, overwhelming, soul-sucking, beauty-destroying involvement and presence? Goddamn, we’re OFF TRACK.
This morning I was pondering life and death and truth and mortality whilst sitting in traffic on the 5, when the following thought came into my head and I found it both clarifying and comforting: If Frank FUCKING Sinatra can die, ANY OF US CAN DIE — and the Universe goes on…expanding and shimmering and delivering up dreams, donuts, douchebags, diet pills, Diego Riveras, dibbuks, dilettantes, Dewey decimals, and dicks.
Today I was pondering life and death and truth and mortality whilst sitting in traffic on the 5, when the following thought came into my head and I found it both clarifying and comforting: If Frank FUCKING Sinatra can die, ANY OF US CAN DIE — and the Universe goes on…expanding and shimmering and delivering up dreams, donuts, douchebags, diet pills, Diego Riveras, dibbuks, dilettantes, Dewey decimals, and dicks.
“We are the CIT’s so pity us. The kids are brats the food is hideous. We’re gonna smoke and drink and fool around. (We’re nookie bound.) We’re the North Star CIT’s.”
Vacuous Muff Fact #966: The Four Right Chords CAN ABSOLUTELY make my fatass cry.
Well, I’ll be goddamned. I ACTUALLY GREW UP TO BE A DEBASER.
A public service message to all you gullible, self-deluded, Whole Foods-shopping, Subaru-driving, hippie muthafuckas all up in through here — and, believe me, this comes from a place of love: You can horseshit yourselves ALL you want, goddamnit — but Nutella ain’t nothin’ but a Euro-trash tub o’ DUNCAN HINES CHOCOLATE FROSTING…and YOU FUCKING WELL KNOW IT.
Right. Like ol’ Harry Potter got ANY room to talk. Yes, Justin Bieber looks like Ally Sheedy in “The Breakfast Club”…but did you ever see Radcliffe in “Equus”? Knitter, PLEASE — that little queen’s got a Crab Ladder goin’ on that’d make the gottdamned Gorton’s Fisherman recoil in shock and awe.
“I’m open to everything. When you start to criticize the times you live in, your time is over.” — Karl Lagerfeld, age 76
muffy bolding 