i heart harry

When I was a teenager in Fresno, California, I went to see, “Clash of the Titans” at the Fig Garden Village Cinema with my friends. Afterward, as we emerged into the scorching San Joaquin Valley sun, I remember thinking three very specific thoughts:

1) That Ray Harryhausen was a motherfucking GENIUS. His brilliant stop-motion camp is one of the great entertainment obsessions of my life. I will giddily and shamelessly watch his films anytime, anyplace, amongst any company. They just make me happy.

2) That, “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” would always and forever remain a main staple of my schtick….er, vocabulary — and it has. AND HOW.


3) THAT I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO MAKE OUT WITH HARRY HAMLIN. That fucking mouth is LEGENDARY…the stuff of which teenage girl dreams are MADE — and apparently, talking to all the delightful Nancy Boys who exist alongside me in our very own L.A. Moveable Feast — SOME TEENAGE BOYS, as well. Uh…can you say, “Making Love”? HOLY SHIT.

In exactly one hour from now, my humbled, incredulous, Fresno self will take my place beside Mr. Hamlin at a reading at the HOTTEST literary salon on the West Coast, both of us invited there by the HOT Mabel Dodge of the New Millennium, Miss Vicki Abelson.

Thank you so much, Miss Vicki…for making a Fresno girl’s dreams come true. I shall try my very best to make you proud.

For once…I am just speechless.


About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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