When I was a teenager in Fresno, California, I went to see, “Clash of the Titans” at the Fig Garden Village Cinema with my friends. Afterward, as we emerged into the scorching San Joaquin Valley sun, I remember thinking three very specific thoughts:
1) That Ray Harryhausen was a motherfucking GENIUS. His brilliant stop-motion camp is one of the great entertainment obsessions of my life. I will giddily and shamelessly watch his films anytime, anyplace, amongst any company. They just make me happy.
2) That, “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” would always and forever remain a main staple of my schtick….er, vocabulary — and it has. AND HOW.
3) THAT I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO MAKE OUT WITH HARRY HAMLIN. That fucking mouth is LEGENDARY…the stuff of which teenage girl dreams are MADE — and apparently, talking to all the delightful Nancy Boys who exist alongside me in our very own L.A. Moveable Feast — SOME TEENAGE BOYS, as well. Uh…can you say, “Making Love”? HOLY SHIT.
In exactly one hour from now, my humbled, incredulous, Fresno self will take my place beside Mr. Hamlin at a reading at the HOTTEST literary salon on the West Coast, both of us invited there by the HOT Mabel Dodge of the New Millennium, Miss Vicki Abelson.
Thank you so much, Miss Vicki…for making a Fresno girl’s dreams come true. I shall try my very best to make you proud.
For once…I am just speechless.