come fly with me

Despite all the amazing photos being posted by my friends on the East Coast — I have to say that we here in California are feeling a little entomologically left out and would like to extend an offer to all Those 17 Year Cicadas who have not yet seen Disneyland, Universal Studios, The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and Paris Hilton’s Vagina. Dudes. You can totally stay on our couch — but we got WICKED SHITTY public transportation, so you gotta rent a goddamned car.

Okay, so, here’s how the fuck you get here. You take the 101 to the 134 to the 2 to the 210 — but ONLY between the hours of 3 am and 5 am…otherwise, YOU’RE CLICKY NARROW ASSES ARE TOTALLY FUCKED. Oh, and at the interchange between the 134 and the 2 there is an In N’ Out Burger — get in the drive-thru and order a Double-Double “Animal Style” packed to eat in your car. You just gotta trust me on this one, bitches. Man, you guys are gonna sound AWESOME in The Hollywood Bowl.

Let’s do this thing.

cicada_swarm_2013

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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