HERSTORY

I suspect that, up until yesterday, the GOP thought that women were just gonna roll their dumb asses over and allow their FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS to be stripped from them by a political body largely made up of IGNORANT, RELIGIOUS, SELF-RIGHTEOUS, SANCTIMONIOUS, PASTY-FACED PRICKS.

And, obviously…THEM MUTHAFUCKAS WAS WRONG.

Despite their pathetic, malfeasant, ILLEGAL attempt at CHEATING and OUTRIGHT FRAUD within their OWN SENATE CHAMBERS…the FIERCE, FEARLESS, FOCUSED WOMEN OF TEXAS and of THE ENTIRE GOTTDAMNED WORLD — led by the TENACIOUS TEXAS SENATOR, Wendy DavisFLAT BROKE IT DOWN FOR A MOTHERFUCKER.

Gentlemen. We are the Mothers. The Grandmothers. The Daughters. The Sisters. The Wives. The Nurturers. The Healers. The Mourners. The Seducers. The Alchemists. The Breadbakers. The Breadwinners. The Warriors. The Ones Who Will FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO SUBDUE US.

Don’t you see? We are USED to being told no. We are USED to being marginalized. We are USED to having to work twice as hard at the same job for LESS FUCKING PAY. Our strength and determination have been FORGED IN THE FIRES OF INJUSTICE and INEQUALITY. We are like a WELL-SEASONED IRON SKILLET — which can be used to either rustle you up some delicious, nutritious grub…or, TO BUST YOUR FUCKING SKULLCAP.

Which’ll it be?

Yes, Our Brothers, we have faced MANY obstacles to which you, as men, are not only not subjected to…but of which you are actually UNAWARE. You have the PRIVILEGE OF THAT IGNORANCE. However, this adversity has made us STRONG. And FOCUSED. And ARMED. We are READY to do battle. BRING IT ON, BITCHES. Trust me, as women and girls, all of our lives we have fought FAR WORSE ENEMIES THAN THE LIKES OF YOU FECKLESS WORMS — some of them right in our very own homes and families.

As the mothers and caretakers of humanity, believe me…we know how to SURVIVE in the trenches. We know how to bob and weave, how to plot and strategize, how to bide our time, how to organize and feed legions, how to strike. HARD. And WITHOUT MERCY.

We know how to create MAGIC out of NOTHING. When our babies are hungry or suffering or sick or needing, WE ARE THE ONES who work miracles from the last two drops of a bottle of Robitussin or the last two cans of beets and green beans pulled from the very back of an empty pantry. We are SHREWD.

INGENIOUS.

INSPIRING.

COMPLETE.

Don’t EVER forget, son: WE are the ones WHO ASSEMBLE THE STARSTUFF OF LIFE ITSELF DEEP WITHIN OUR OWN BODIES…INCLUDING THE LIVES OF CRETINOUS ASSHOLES LIKE YOU.

So, gentlemen…SIT THE FUCK DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, and SHOW SOME GODDAMNED RESPECT FOR THOSE WHO CREATED YOU.

In the end…this, THIS, is what should surprise EVERYONE…and what should surprise NO ONE at all:

That the whole world was saved…by a FIERCE TEENAGE SINGLE MOTHER — who herself WAS RAISED BY A FIERCE TEENAGE SINGLE MOTHER.

Mark my words: This is JUST THE BEGINNING.

We’re NOT MOVING.

This is a WOMAN’S WORLD.

We’re TAKING IT BACK, boys — for OURSELVES.

FOR OUR BABIES.

Give it up…or PREPARE TO BE BOARDED.

wendy_davis_victory

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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One Response to HERSTORY

  1. k a r a h ~ says:

    Reblogged this on k a r a h ~ l i n and commented:
    Muffy Rules

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