I suspect that, up until yesterday, the GOP thought that women were just gonna roll their dumb asses over and allow their FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS to be stripped from them by a political body largely made up of IGNORANT, RELIGIOUS, SELF-RIGHTEOUS, SANCTIMONIOUS, PASTY-FACED PRICKS.
And, obviously…THEM MUTHAFUCKAS WAS WRONG.
Despite their pathetic, malfeasant, ILLEGAL attempt at CHEATING and OUTRIGHT FRAUD within their OWN SENATE CHAMBERS…the FIERCE, FEARLESS, FOCUSED WOMEN OF TEXAS and of THE ENTIRE GOTTDAMNED WORLD — led by the TENACIOUS TEXAS SENATOR, Wendy Davis — FLAT BROKE IT DOWN FOR A MOTHERFUCKER.
Gentlemen. We are the Mothers. The Grandmothers. The Daughters. The Sisters. The Wives. The Nurturers. The Healers. The Mourners. The Seducers. The Alchemists. The Breadbakers. The Breadwinners. The Warriors. The Ones Who Will FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO SUBDUE US.
Don’t you see? We are USED to being told no. We are USED to being marginalized. We are USED to having to work twice as hard at the same job for LESS FUCKING PAY. Our strength and determination have been FORGED IN THE FIRES OF INJUSTICE and INEQUALITY. We are like a WELL-SEASONED IRON SKILLET — which can be used to either rustle you up some delicious, nutritious grub…or, TO BUST YOUR FUCKING SKULLCAP.
Which’ll it be?
Yes, Our Brothers, we have faced MANY obstacles to which you, as men, are not only not subjected to…but of which you are actually UNAWARE. You have the PRIVILEGE OF THAT IGNORANCE. However, this adversity has made us STRONG. And FOCUSED. And ARMED. We are READY to do battle. BRING IT ON, BITCHES. Trust me, as women and girls, all of our lives we have fought FAR WORSE ENEMIES THAN THE LIKES OF YOU FECKLESS WORMS — some of them right in our very own homes and families.
As the mothers and caretakers of humanity, believe me…we know how to SURVIVE in the trenches. We know how to bob and weave, how to plot and strategize, how to bide our time, how to organize and feed legions, how to strike. HARD. And WITHOUT MERCY.
We know how to create MAGIC out of NOTHING. When our babies are hungry or suffering or sick or needing, WE ARE THE ONES who work miracles from the last two drops of a bottle of Robitussin or the last two cans of beets and green beans pulled from the very back of an empty pantry. We are SHREWD.
INGENIOUS.
INSPIRING.
COMPLETE.
Don’t EVER forget, son: WE are the ones WHO ASSEMBLE THE STARSTUFF OF LIFE ITSELF DEEP WITHIN OUR OWN BODIES…INCLUDING THE LIVES OF CRETINOUS ASSHOLES LIKE YOU.
So, gentlemen…SIT THE FUCK DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, and SHOW SOME GODDAMNED RESPECT FOR THOSE WHO CREATED YOU.
In the end…this, THIS, is what should surprise EVERYONE…and what should surprise NO ONE at all:
That the whole world was saved…by a FIERCE TEENAGE SINGLE MOTHER — who herself WAS RAISED BY A FIERCE TEENAGE SINGLE MOTHER.
Mark my words: This is JUST THE BEGINNING.
We’re NOT MOVING.
This is a WOMAN’S WORLD.
We’re TAKING IT BACK, boys — for OURSELVES.
FOR OUR BABIES.
Give it up…or PREPARE TO BE BOARDED.
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Muffy Rules