Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

pass

Posted on May 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Dude…how come Woody Allen, Pete Townshend, and Roman Polanski get a fucking pass?

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…

Posted on May 19, 2010 by muffybolding

TUMMY. OFF. TRACK. TODAY. NOT. GOOD. THANK. THE. GODS. FOR. BABYWIPES. AND. CLEMENTINE. AIR-FRESHENER. WHERE. IS. YOUR. GOD. NOW. MOSES?

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beyond the pale

Posted on May 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Contrary to the Right insisting otherwise, I personally believe that MUCH of this anti-immigration fuss is based in a profound and deeply-entrenched cultural and historical racist ideology. I think that there are racists walking amongst us who quite literally have … Continue reading →

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teach

Posted on May 15, 2010 by muffybolding

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how … Continue reading →

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ditto

Posted on May 14, 2010 by muffybolding

“I think anyone who’s an activist but doesn’t own up to their contradictions is not doing anyone a favor.” — Beth Ditto

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ruff duty

Posted on May 14, 2010 by muffybolding

Haven’t these Chinese astro-bastards heard of Space Food Sticks and Tang, goddamnit? Eat fucking raccoon, or hedgehog, or those awful pink-faced monsters, the possums. But for christ’s sake — DON’T EAT THE SWEET BABIES. They’re much more valuable as friends … Continue reading →

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meat

Posted on May 14, 2010 by muffybolding

What’s up with Luke Wilson and that inexplicable meatface? His body looks pretty much the same…and yet his face looks like…well, it looks like MINE.

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wither

Posted on May 13, 2010 by muffybolding

Though it doesn’t get nearly the same attention as its grey, Wintery sister, Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder is a right bitch. This time every year, the sun singes my soul and I watch the weather forecast every night with dread … Continue reading →

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t&s

Posted on May 13, 2010 by muffybolding

The Minotaur The mahogany table-top you smashedHad been the broad plank topOf my mother’s heirloom sideboard-Mapped with the scars of my whole life. That came under the hammer.That high stool you swung that dayDemented by my beingTwenty minutes late for … Continue reading →

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ride ’em, cowgrrl

Posted on May 12, 2010 by muffybolding

On my way back from a delicious brekkie with the BRILLIANT Billy Butler this morning, I heard on NPR that a new exhibit is opening at the Gene Autry Museum of Western Heritage here in LA: “Gays and Lesbians in … Continue reading →

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