Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

i’ll kiss your rotten heads in

Posted on April 20, 2006 by muffybolding

This morning before he left for a day filled with big boss applesauce management meetings and such, my sweet husband, Gregory, hugged me and kissed me good-bye –- just like he does everyday. Except, this morning, instead of just, “Have … Continue reading →

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synchronicity

Posted on April 18, 2006 by muffybolding

Yeah, Suri is the perfect name for her, because the second she gets old enough to understand who and what her father is…homegirl is gonna be SURI SHE WAS EVER BORN. Congratulations, crazy Scientologist motherfuckers! According to online reports, Tom … Continue reading →

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just for shits and giggles

Posted on April 18, 2006 by muffybolding

From Madhouse: Me and Jordy Ladd just fucking hangin’ around and chillin’. Ouchie!

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what could be

Posted on April 18, 2006 by muffybolding

If you haven’t yet seen this…you must. As I was watching it, just for those few minutes, I actually allowed myself to experience what it would feel like to have a leader who truly cared about the world, and who … Continue reading →

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power point update (except without the power point)

Posted on April 17, 2006 by muffybolding

1) I am going to a Dodgers game this evening with Gregory, my son, Hunter, and his buddy, Brad. I am also going to another one on Wednesday night with Hunter, my best friend, Billy, and a whole slew of … Continue reading →

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as billy so elegantly puts it, “this was taken BEFORE the alleged dog molestation…”

Posted on April 14, 2006 by muffybolding

I snapped this photograph of my best friend, Billy, and his goddamned prom date, Little Opal, on one of our many delightful sojourns into the seedy underbelly nightlife of the Romanian capitol. If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it … Continue reading →

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the jackals rule romania

Posted on April 14, 2006 by muffybolding

A few of the cherished members of my “family”: Left to right: Leslie Jordan, Jerrie Werkman, Patrika Darbo, Aaron Strongoni, Muffaletta, Billy Butler. This picture makes me smile…as it reminds me of some truly extraordinary days spent on location in … Continue reading →

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i don’t even know how to begin to respond to horseshit like this…

Posted on April 11, 2006 by muffybolding

Mindnumbing drivel like this is why we are the laughingstock of the entire planet. It is why everyone is contemptuous of our culture and our citizenry. It is why they loathe us. It is why I loathe us. It is … Continue reading →

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speaking of which…

Posted on April 10, 2006 by muffybolding

Goddamnit, I love this song. It just so…resonates with me — ‘cuz I really do hate that shit. You know, I truly believe that underneath all these titties, cashmere, and Jean Nate…I must just be a fucking guy. She’s Got … Continue reading →

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*cough, sniffle, wheeze*

Posted on April 9, 2006 by muffybolding

You Are the Enthusiast 7 You are outgoing and playful – always seeing the happy side to life. You’re enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new. Multi-talented, you do many things well… and find success easy. You prefer to keep … Continue reading →

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