Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

wanted dead or alive: one ballsy hippie witch

Posted on November 1, 2005 by muffybolding

The fact that this happened at all is extraordinarily amusing. The fact that it happened in Olympia is SHEER FUCKING POETRY. Woman in Witch Costume Robs Washington Bank OLYMPIA, Wash. – A woman dressed as a witch robbed a bank … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 3 Comments

know your target market, motherfuckers

Posted on October 31, 2005 by muffybolding

You know, sometimes I really fucking loathe the very culture at whose paps even I, myself, hungrily suck. I’m certainly not saying that we deserved 9-11 — but I am saying that sometimes I can almost understand the sheer rage … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 23 Comments

i like to keep it real spooky

Posted on October 31, 2005 by muffybolding

Happy Halloween to all my homies on this, the night when the veil between this world and the next is at its very thinnest — and apparently getting stretched damn near to its transparent, diaphanous limits. Let your not-so-little light … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 12 Comments

“and i eat men like air…”

Posted on October 27, 2005 by muffybolding

Happy Birthday, Miss Sylvia. You kept me alive.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments

somebody’s been peering in my windows

Posted on October 27, 2005 by muffybolding

Leo Horoscope for week of October 27, 2005 Leo (July 23-August 22) The old days and old ways are still subtly influencing every move you make, both for better and for worse. I urge you, therefore, to revisit the life … Continue reading →

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no, she di-in’t

Posted on October 26, 2005 by muffybolding

I have been railing about this for years to anyone who would listen. You see, I have in my possession, stashed away somewhere in a box in storage, a videotape from the mid-eighties of a very young and VERY CLEARLY … Continue reading →

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baggied the fuck out

Posted on October 25, 2005 by muffybolding

Jackalfest 2005. The body count continues…

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 2 Comments

Posted on October 25, 2005 by muffybolding

TEN FIRSTS First Best Friend: Christianne Berry. Her mother, Alice, was our French teacher; Alice was a French/Egyptian woman who wore curly-toed genie shoes and HUGE bejeweled rings. She fucking rocked…and so did her daughter. She was the first important … Continue reading →

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40th jubilee celebration!

Posted on October 3, 2005 by muffybolding

I would like to wish a magical and happy 40th birthday to my fabulous friend, — one of the most loving, intelligent dames I know. Happy Birthday, Miss Angie. I love you much.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 8 Comments

yummy gift

Posted on August 29, 2005 by muffybolding

Many grateful and affectionate thanks to our very own for her gift to myself and my family of dinner last night. Because of her thoughtfulness and generosity, not only did I not have to cook whilst recuperating, I did not … Continue reading →