Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

define your terms, bitches

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

A while back, my dear old friend — the AWESOME NYC writer/artist/zinester/flâneur, Miss Ayun Halliday — posted as her Facebook status update this marvelous quote from Miss Amanda Fucking Palmer: “Stop pretending art is hard.” Concurring to my core, I … Continue reading →

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small town

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

I am just sitting here on this lovely, soft, clement Los Angeles evening, drinking my soy latte, meandering down a random, delightful Facebook path through the pages of all my treasured old Fresno comrades, when suddenly I randomly come upon … Continue reading →

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chinga tu madre

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

I just gotta say that I LOATHE how we have commodified and fetishized babies and motherhood in this culture. Just the thought of it makes my flesh crawl. It’s time to move past the $300 diaper bags with hand-embroidered bluebirds … Continue reading →

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ernie

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

‪#‎howonearthdidernestborgninegetintomybathroommirror‬ ‪#‎yeahchuckleitupallyouperky22yearoldmotherfuckersthiswallisexactlywhereyoureheaded‬

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old broads

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Middle Age. Like death and skintags, it comes to us all. But, trust me…delivered along with the gunt, the stray grey pubes, the chin hairs, the crepey face, and The Florida Evans Neck, there are fabulous advantages to being a … Continue reading →

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pie!

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

TRUTH: “A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care much for pie.” — Tenneva Jordan

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high

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

I once took part in a lively online discussion about the invaluable assistance of employing mind-altering substances to enhance the creation of one’s art, a discussion that was compelled by my posting the following quote: “See, I think drugs have … Continue reading →

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party on, nanook

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“With the solitary exception of the Eskimos, there isn’t a people on earth that doesn’t use psychoactive plants to effect a change in consciousness, and there probably never has been. As for the Eskimos, their exception only proves the rule: … Continue reading →

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amen

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Can I get an AMEN up in this MUTHAFUCKA? ‪#‎fucktheseguys‬ ‪#‎ibelieveinunicornsandobiwankenobi‬ ‪#‎maytheforcebewithyou‬ ‪#‎always‬

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talons

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

About to get my talons tinted by my best girl, Miss Lani, whilst wearing a delightful rendering of my GORGEOUS GUSBAND, Miss Jackie Beat, across my heaving, scandalous bosom. Life is astounding. ‪#‎luckyslut‬

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