Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

homesick

I am doing some television work in Los Angeles this week…and I miss my Sweet Piglet Husband and my babies. I want to be home in my own cozy bed — watching old “Young Ones” videos and reading the excellent … Continue reading

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the loveliest song in the world

Try as I might, I cannot seem to listen to this song without weeping at its haunting beauty. I have come to know that in music lies my religion — and listening to it, for me, is like touching the … Continue reading

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world events

So, yesterday, August 19th, 2004… Google finally went public. John Kerry FINALLY publically called George W. Bush the fuck OUT on his shit. Sixteen year old American gymnast Carly Patterson won the individual all-around gold medal at the 2004 Olympic … Continue reading

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mamaphonic; coming soon to a bookstore and desert isle near you!

From amazon.com: “Brought to the kitchen table by Hip Mama managing director Bee Lavender and editor Maia Rossini, Mamaphonic collects confessions and conversations about the exhilarating, entertaining, and difficult aspects of remaining creative while raising children. Essays range from the … Continue reading

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midori sole

I will be on location in San Francisco for the next few days on a shoot for Disney, immediately followed by the gala screening of our new film in Los Anheles on Thursday night. If I wasn’t such a pathetic … Continue reading

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mommy meme

Post your favorite picture of your Mommy: Alexandria, at age 25

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quest

One quick question for my homies: Does anyone have the link to the website that was big a few months ago…the one that had a picture of an American soldier and two Iraqi boys holding a sign whose wordage could … Continue reading

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kindergarten muff

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mine eyes have seen him, baby…

Mother of God. Without fucking question, I just laid eyes on the first African-American president of the United States. Mark my words, kids. What we just saw…is the future. In years to come, this night — this amazingly eloquent and … Continue reading

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yes, mein lieblings…i haff returned from zuh mighty PNW

Sing with the family: “Olympia… Won’t you hang me from your grapevine? Buzz my name across your telephone line? Aren’t I worthy of your rumors? Didn’t I make the scene? When I hear you speak of others I’m filled with … Continue reading

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