Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

smile

Posted on February 11, 2014 by muffybolding

Six weeks ago, under the “Special Instructions” section of my Last Will and Testament, I quite literally added an ironclad codicil that — if they wish to partake of my simolians — at my funeral service, all of my future … Continue reading →

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not

Posted on February 10, 2014 by muffybolding

On your own blog or Facebook page, list five things that you are NOT: 1) I am not down for the neglect, abuse, torment, suffering, or destruction of ANY living, breathing, sentient being. Dogs are my gods. Pearlie Mae is … Continue reading →

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milk

Posted on February 10, 2014 by muffybolding

An Old Hooker and New Mama. I remember that when this shot was taken, my beautiful, tiny, newborn son, Hunter (yes, named for the Good Doctor, himself), was mewling just out of frame, causing my milk to immediately drop, causing … Continue reading →

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lampoon

Posted on February 10, 2014 by muffybolding

Here I am, politically canoodling with my old pal, former California State Assemblyman, Mike Briggs…at what I do believe was his election night victory party, 1998. Yeah, don’t let those boyish, clean-cut, prep-school looks fool you: I don’t give a … Continue reading →

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tennessee

Posted on February 9, 2014 by muffybolding

“Don’t bear your sins: Confess them. Don’t wear your hair shirt of pain: Throw it off, redesign it, and give it to someone who might need it for warmth. I grew up in a society that asked us to keep … Continue reading →

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americans

Posted on February 4, 2014 by muffybolding

“Kicking Bird: How many? John Dunbar: Like the stars.”        — One old friend inquiring of another as to the numbers of white men yet coming to The West, “Dances With Wolves” Despite being a Pound Puppy of … Continue reading →

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hank

Posted on February 3, 2014 by muffybolding

“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.”   — Charles Bukowski  

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requiescat in pace PSH

Posted on February 3, 2014 by muffybolding

Quite literally one of the finest, most astonishing, most fearless actors of our time or any other. I just watched him in his expertly wretched turn as the toady, grotesque, pretentious Freddy in “The Talented Mr. Ripley” not two nights … Continue reading →

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hip mama!

Posted on January 31, 2014 by muffybolding

Two decades ago — long before the endless legions of Mommy Bloggers writing about childbirth like they were the first ones to EVER do it, long before mainstream celebrity culture FETISHIZED babies and motherhood — there was Ariel Gore and her alternative … Continue reading →

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muffy tyler-moore

Posted on January 19, 2014 by muffybolding

All of my life, I have inexplicably loved the date January 17th. For no reasonably apparent reason. I’ve just always liked the color of it, the look of it, the feel of it, the sound of it. Yes, 17 itself … Continue reading →

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