Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

obama and babies

Posted on November 9, 2012 by muffybolding

AS IF this photograph weren’t already COMPLETELY ON TRACK being just exactly what it is…the awesome quotient went right through the motherloving roof with an extra added bonus delight: The two babies caught unawares in the top row. We’re gonna … Continue reading →

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petrie dish

Posted on November 8, 2012 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Fact #637: When I am feeling despondent, bewildered, frightened, or in pain and need to close my eyes and go to “My Happy Place”…the place I go to is Rob and Laura Petrie’s living room at 148 Bonnie … Continue reading →

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barry

Posted on November 8, 2012 by muffybolding

Honestly? This might just be the GREATEST SINGLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. Oh, and when you read this in your head, do be sure and read it in ol’ Barry’s voice and unmistakable cadence. Just trust … Continue reading →

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ya follow?

Posted on November 8, 2012 by muffybolding

I have to say, watching Karl Rove LOSE HIS MOTHERFUCKING MIND ON FOX NEWS has been just one of the many small, schadenfreudic pleasures of the past couple of days. Him squirming and stammering that something was obviously amiss in … Continue reading →

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off track

Posted on November 8, 2012 by muffybolding

I find it positively mind-boggling that a person can, in all earnestness, pronounce that, “God is our only president!” and NOT see the DIRECT IDEOLOGICAL CORRELATION between their own beliefs…and that of The Taliban. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.

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miss brigid

Posted on November 8, 2012 by muffybolding

“My mother wanted me to be a slim, respectable socialite. Instead, I became an overweight troublemaker.” — Brigid Berlin

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bloomie

Posted on November 2, 2012 by muffybolding

AMEN. Spoken like the true loving, protective father of two young women whom he ADORES. For me, this is what it ALL boils down to. Jobs don’t mean anything, economic recovery doesn’t mean anything, NONE of the issues at stake … Continue reading →

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2012

Posted on November 2, 2012 by muffybolding

Barack Obama is not perfect. He is, in fact, FAR from perfect. He is not The White Knight (or even The Black Knight,!) that we had all dreamily and ignorantly envisioned he would be four years ago, but neither is … Continue reading →

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kiss my obi

Posted on October 13, 2012 by muffybolding

I got your passive subservience RIGHT HERE. Giggle behind THIS HAND, motherfucker. GEISHA GIRL POWER!

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happy

Posted on October 13, 2012 by muffybolding

For one weekend a year, The Happiest Place On Earth becomes The GAYEST Place On Earth — and on that particular weekend, where else would a Hopelessly Devoted Card-Carrying Fag Hag BE? Yes, Mein Poppets, It’s Gay Days here at … Continue reading →

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