Author Archives: muffybolding

Because sometimes a bitch just gotta AIR THAT SHIT OUT.

You demand that no one make direct eye contact with you because you honestly believe yourself to be more important or more talented than others, but more so, because you are absolutely terrified that someone might see the truth that … Continue reading →

My shadowy doppleganger. Paris, 1932. Brash, trashy, shameless old hookers like me are TIMELESS. Like zaftig cockroaches in red lipstick — WE SURVIVE and ENDURE. (Gorgeous photo by Brassai. Of course.)

HA! Someday all these Pa Ingalls Leather Supenders-Sportin’/Jethro Clampett Boots With NO SOCKS-Wearin’/Smith Brothers Cough Drops Unruly Lice-Crawlin’ Beard-Havin’/Sensitive, Environmentally-Conscious, Runnin’-a-Knife-Sharpening-Woodcarving-Humane-Abbatoir Bidness-Out-of-the-Garage-of-their-Silver Lake-Rental-Home-Doin’/Shoot-out at The Okay Corral-lookin’ muthafuckas are gonna be culturally comparable to JOE DIRT. Think they won’t? DEAD. … Continue reading →

All of my life, I have been on the outside, looking in — never pretty enough, never thin enough, never cool enough, never popular enough. Always different, always from the “weird” family with 400 kids, always out of step with … Continue reading →

It’s so odd. When you are auditioning actors in Los Angeles, you see lots and lots of really beautiful, talented people — they’re comin’ in the goddamned window, for chrissake. But I gotta tell you, it’s only every so often … Continue reading →

Everybody thinks their Mother is the most beautiful Mother in the world. But, you see…here’s the thing: MY MOTHER REALLY IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOTHER IN THE WORLD. C’mon, now. Look at these photos. Countless BEWITCHED men have EAGERLY UNFURLED … Continue reading →

Sometimes it is the smallest, most seemingly insignificant moments that bear witness to the passing of an epoch. This morning, I was casually going through the pantry, getting rid of stale boxes of Cream of Wheat and expired cans of … Continue reading →

‪#‎mamalove‬ ‪#‎mamatruth‬ ‪#‎woodenspoon‬ ‪#‎showwood‬ ‪#‎theenforcer‬‪#‎idontgiveafuckifyoureallgrownupmamawillstillkicksomebabyass‬‪#‎notreallybutamamacandreamcanti‬ ‪#‎mothersday2016‬

SO LOVELY. And, I am SO IN. ‪#‎dogsaregods‬ ‪#‎thosearelittlebabiesresplendentingarlandsandgratitude‬ ‪#‎dogsareeverything‬