Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

we got the beat

Posted on September 15, 2010 by muffybolding

Muffy Bolding Chola Moment of the Day: Today at Target, I actually got into a FULL ON girl skirmish/bitch fisticuff with Miss Jackie Beat…OVER A DRESS WE BOTH WANTED. Shit, Homes…I took off my hoops, put the baby in the … Continue reading →

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the bliss that is this

Posted on September 14, 2010 by muffybolding

A meaningful little message to all the tiresome, uninteresting misanthropes, pricks, and infernal whiners in the world: “Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you … Continue reading →

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skin. mine.

Posted on September 14, 2010 by muffybolding

Today, a friend gave me a lovely and most unexpected compliment about the luminosity of my skin — and asked me to give up my beauty secrets as to how I maintain its peachy, healthy glow. Well, Miss Holly, here … Continue reading →

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gym de la giove

Posted on September 13, 2010 by muffybolding

“I’m too fat to live in a castle.” — In 2009, I breathlessly and shamelessly announced this to an entire room of film colleagues and friends, after walking up a particularly lengthy and steep set of stairs in the STUNNING … Continue reading →

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crazy from the heat

Posted on September 13, 2010 by muffybolding

Last week was blustery, cold, and delightfully grey — and I was BESIDE MYSELF with glee. I was writing and knitting like a madwoman and reveling in both my element and the earth’s eternal promise of the chill, dark days … Continue reading →

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truth. mine and davy’s.

Posted on September 13, 2010 by muffybolding

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.” — Dave Barry (By the way…if you ever want to see my fatass UNLEASH THE FUCKING KRAKEN — just treat a wait person … Continue reading →

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truth. larry’s.

Posted on September 12, 2010 by muffybolding

“It’s only with great vulgarity that you can achieve real refinement, only out of bawdry that you can get tenderness.” — Lawrence Durrell

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incontrovertible science and stuff

Posted on September 12, 2010 by muffybolding

Muffy’s Scandalous Science Sunday: According to rigorous experimentation using the Scientific Method, these two facts we know to be empirically and categorically true: 1) One cannot possibly sneeze with one’s eyes open…and 2) One cannot possibly floss one’s teeth without … Continue reading →

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se7en

Posted on September 5, 2010 by muffybolding

From Miss Jackie Beat: Post 7 completely random, unrelated things that you LOVE! Here are mine: Roman Centurion Titus Pullo of the MIGHTY XXIV; Noro Japanese yarn; “The Wife of Bath”; the Frito smell of my chihuahuas’ paws; the soy … Continue reading →

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on track

Posted on September 4, 2010 by muffybolding

Black Cock Down

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