chief

Inane Muff Fact #1712: The iconic crying Indian Chief in those “Keep America Beautiful” PSA’s from our youth was named Iron Eyes Cody…and not only was he NOT Native American — he was Sicilian. His real name was Espera de Corti AND HE WAS MY GREAT UNCLE — a fact that did NOT keep me from belly crying every single time I saw it. And I’ll be goddamned if it didn’t work: I am a militant NON-litterer and am mightily contemptuous of anybody who isn’t.

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partner in crime

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Every girl should be so fucking lucky to spend her work days thusly:

Creating entire worlds with a kind, charming, interesting, astonishing, brilliant, hilarious, degenerate genius.

Universe?

THANK YOU.

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la

“I moved to Los Angeles because my wife and I decided we had to live in the city with the most substance in the United States. And I do not regret it for a second. Don’t be misled by the superficial glitz and glamour of Hollywood. It’s the city with the most cultural substance. What I like about Los Angeles is that it allows everyone to live his or her own lifestyle. Drive around the hills and you find a Moorish castle next to a Swiss chalet sitting beside a house shaped like a UFO. There is a lot of creative energy in Los Angeles not channelled into the film business. Florence and Venice have great surface beauty, but as cities they feel like museums, whereas for me Los Angeles is the city in America with the most substance, even if it’s raw, uncouth and sometimes quite bizarre. Wherever you look is an immense depth, a tumult that resonates with me. New York is more concerned with finance than anything else. It doesn’t create culture, only consumes it; most of what you find in New York comes from elsewhere. Things actually get done in Los Angeles. Look beyond the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and a wild excitement of intense dreams opens up; it has more horizons than any other place. There is a great deal of industry in the city and a real working class; I also appreciate the vibrant presence of the Mexicans. In the last half century every significant cultural and technical trend has emerged from California, including the Free Speech Movement and the acceptance of gays and lesbians as an integral part of a dignified society, computers and the Internet, and — thanks to Hollywood — the collective dreams of the entire world.” — Film Director Werner Herzog

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will

Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, ‘Choose.’
Sean: Gotta go with the belt, there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: The wrench, why?
Will: ‘Cause fuck him, that’s why.

— Good Will Hunting

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truth

And, while you’re at it…GO FUCK YOURSELF.

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fran

‪#‎oldbroadstothefront‬

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truth

‪#‎blackgirlstothefront‬
‪#‎gaymentothefront‬
‪#‎ruthlesstruthtellerstothefront‬

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the reason

REAL WISTFUL and SELF-SATISFIED.

‪#‎theproudpunaniportalofprogeny‬

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whut

Problem solved.

‪#‎oldwhoresayswhut‬

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stfu

Yeah. Mama has fucking HAD IT with all this annoying, precious, fetishized, commodified, overblown, HORSESHIT, 21st Century parenting.

Children who are a COMPLETE imposition on the lives of their TERRIFIED, FECKLESS parents.

Children who are pushed and stressed and over-scheduled and NEVER allowed nor encouraged to just SIT and THINK and FEEL and BE.

Children who are never taught the RICH FULFILLMENT and VELVETY BLISS that is simple solitude…nor the awareness or appreciation of the MULTITUDES THAT JUST THEY THEMSELVES CONTAIN.

Children who will wake up one day when they are 40 to find that they are EXPERT fugitives from THEMSELVES.

Children who are NEVER allowed to lose or fail and thusly NEVER learn how to do either with grace and dignity…and who will NEVER learn that losing and failing can be the GREATEST GODDAMNED GIFT you will ever receive.

Children who are raised with kid gloves like PRIZE VEAL.

ENOUGH.

For chrissake…JUST LET A MOTHERFUCKER CLIMB A TREE.

Me, I subscribe to the Roseanne Barr school of raising children…and my larvae turned out JUST FINE:

“If those kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work…I DONE MY FUCKIN’ JOB.”

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