The name of the game is “List Five of Your Weird Habits”.
Here mine be:
1) I use baby wipes for EVERYTHING. Remember the old guy with the Windex in that big, fat, Greek wedding movie? That’s me, except with baby wipes. Baby wipes can be used to scour the counters, mop the floors, shine your shoes, swipe a bunghole, wash grubby foots, cleanse a cute face, dust a desktop, disinfect a wound, polish jewelry, clean the keyboard, remove makeup, sop up load, swish the toiletbowl, and get a Starbucks stain out of a cashmere sweater. I carry a package in my purse; I am never without them. Baby wipes are KING.
2) I wash my hands somewhere in the range of 50 times a day. It’s not a germ thing; it’s a tactile thing.
3) I absolutely, genuinely relish the smell of asparagus pee. Though it may seem facetious, my literary bio speaketh the truth.
4) When I am kindly asked (or traumatically induced!) to go to “My Happy Place” — because it has been my ultimate dream since I was very young, I almost always go to Merry Olde England (or sometimes HERE) — a place, which in actuality, doesn’t really even exist anymore except in the wistful imagination of a little girl from Fresno. At any rate, it’s either London or the green, green countryside — it doesn’t really matter; it’s in my ears and in my eyes. I long to be there.
5) Whilst driving, I frequently talk out loud to the sweet grandbabies I shall someday have — in a heavy Scottish brogue. “Angus, Malcolm, Hamish, Fiona, and Argyle — come give Grannie a snog! Forget that nasty old Mummy and Daddy…Grannie loves you!” And, yes…I do this while driving alone.