Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

fuck it

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

FUCK IT. Let ’em burn. WE SHALL FIGHT BY FIRELIGHT!

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golden goals

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

So, a couple weeks ago, my fatass shimmied into a black dress an Abe Lincoln brooch from my FAVORITE jewelry shop, SCHMUTZERLAND, (Abe’s a BABE!), expertly applied some Russian Red, and sashayed down into the basement of a Metseecan restaurant … Continue reading →

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jackalfest

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Goddamn, every once in awhile it just hits me right betwixt the tits. The entire paradigm of Facebook is just SO fucking HORRIFYING on so many different levels. I ask you, Mein Poppets: Would you EVER throw a dinner party … Continue reading →

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gordon

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacott Steel.

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zines!

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

FUCK. TO. THE. YES. Sashaying about in GLORIOUS Downtown Los Angeles at The MIGHTY L.A. Zine Fest 2016 with my BEST Husband, Gregory, and my BEST Girl, Pammie! Such awesome zines! Such fabulous art! Such adorable DIY brooches! Such marvelous … Continue reading →

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#teambrit

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Oh, trust me, I get it. I TOTALLY FUCKING GET IT. ‪#‎teamcrazybritney‬ ‪#‎backoffmanimfromfresno‬ ‪#‎donotfuckwithme‬‪#‎iwillshavemygottdamnedheadandbeatyogottdamnedasswifagottdamnedumbrella‬ ‪#‎yeahchuckleitupmotherfuckerimnotjoking‬

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life

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Do you ever just have one of those rare simple moments…where nothing really is going on…and yet everything really is going on? Just an ordinary moment…where the temperature is 72 degrees and there is a very cool breeze blowing on … Continue reading →

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pink power

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

In honor of International Women’s Day, 2016: FUCK EVERYONE. FUCK EVERYTHING. These FIERCE, FEARLESS, FED UP, PISSED OFF, RIGHTEOUS WOMEN IN PINK are the BIGGEST BADASSES WHO WALK THE PLANET. We need to start a chapter right here in the … Continue reading →

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gimme mick

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

So, about five years ago I watched a television documentary about Mick Jagger that was just captivating. He isn’t at all how I thought he would be — jaded, cocky, swaggering, disinterested. He is actually a very tender, hands-on sort … Continue reading →

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wannabe!

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

I am just sitting here thinking about the time Gregory and I went to a parents night thingie at our daughter, Anne’s, Student Youth and Government leadership organization that is sponsored through The Y…where the evening’s rules were that we … Continue reading →

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