Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

two tickets to a trainwreck — SOLD!

I am SO going. You could not pay me to miss this, baby. My little piece of schadenfreude heaven — held at will-call… So, there. That’ll teach you to mock my husband’s fashion choices (“Nice cords…”) when you are introduced … Continue reading

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what i did this weekend by muffy bolding

God help us all.

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a quick meme before making dinner for the beasties

What are your plans for the weekend? to drive to LA so a professional make-up artist can get me all dolled up like a kitschy 1940’s telephone operator — complete with huge bouffant, cat-eye glasses, and “i love lucy” lips…all … Continue reading

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delight!

So, I get the new issue of hipmama in the mail today — and I’m paging through, skimming, alighting, and perusing…and right there, on page fucking 30… is MY IZZY! Sportin’ a bouffant and slurpin’ on a cherry popsicle, no … Continue reading

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“a nation turns its lonely eyes to you…”

Last night, Gregory and I were watching the episode of “The Daily Show” that originally aired the night of the Vice-Presidential Debate (ALL HAIL THE GRAND AND GLORIOUS TIVO!), and after watching Jonny Stewart crouch down, draw his claws, bare … Continue reading

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attention oregon and nevada democrats

After what happened in 2000, I would put NOTHING past these malfeasant toads. Editor’s Note: Please note the beginning of the final paragraph of this story: “The company has been largely, if not entirely funded, by the Republican National Committee.” … Continue reading

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cute babies

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tactile appreciation

Let me tell you what I love: What I love is that for the past 48 hours, I was a much-respected (and much catered to — what the fuck is up with THAT? Don’t all these eager-to-please people hovering about … Continue reading

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satan

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a … Continue reading

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“when you wish upon a star — makes no difference who you are…”

Today we wandered through Stage 1 on the Disney lot — the vast and musty stage where, among other things, the opening orchestra scene from “Fantasia”, as well as many scenes from “Mary Poppins” (my favorite Disney movie of all … Continue reading

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