Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

taylor

Posted on January 11, 2015 by muffybolding

Listen, Mein Poppets, I don’t give a shit if your friends are the most SPARKLING, ERUDITE bastards on the planet — if you never had the profound pleasure, privilege, and delight of having a one-on-one conversation with the brilliant Taylor Negron…then … Continue reading →

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tubby khaleesi

Posted on January 11, 2015 by muffybolding

Bliss. #rainydayinLA #cozieddownwithfritoedbabies #chihuahuamattress #pearliemaeencrustedgunt #MOTHEROFDRAGONS

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rip tay

Posted on January 11, 2015 by muffybolding

I am bereft. I will miss you all the rest of my days…ASTONISHING, FASCINATING, KIND, COMPASSIONATE, SUPPORTIVE, GENIUS, HILARIOUS old comrade. You were EVERYTHING all at once to so many people — actor, writer, artist, storyteller, chronicler, comedian, poet, bon … Continue reading →

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all horseshit aside

Posted on January 8, 2015 by muffybolding
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fondue

Posted on January 8, 2015 by muffybolding

Inane Muff Edict #488: I hereby officially decree 2015 as the Year of The MAGNIFICENT Dinner Party — whereupon I shall don my faux-Pucci caftan, ready the orange mod fondue-pot, dust off the Eydie Gorme albums, and summon to my … Continue reading →

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on

Posted on January 8, 2015 by muffybolding

I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating more on this UNIMAGINABLY TRAGIC DAY than it ever has: MAKE NO MISTAKE…the harder that The Thought Terrorists of The World attempt to stifle, censor, silence, and destroy those … Continue reading →

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dolls

Posted on January 7, 2015 by muffybolding

Welp, that’s it. Two doctors concur: Tomorrow, it’s back to the BIG, BAD, BUTCH MEDS FOR A BITCH. BRING IT.

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AUnward!

Posted on January 5, 2015 by muffybolding

Since ancient times, when the Japanese mend broken objects, rather than attempting to restore them to their previously unsullied state, they instead aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and … Continue reading →

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chubble-helix

Posted on January 5, 2015 by muffybolding

Yes, yes, yes, I know that ancestry.com and the like have already collected, deciphered, configured, and provided the genetic and ethnic ancestry on verily MILLIONS of people all over the world who seek to know from whence they came. But, believe me … Continue reading →

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new year babies!

Posted on January 2, 2015 by muffybolding

In celebration of 2015, please enjoy these photos of two of The Moons of My Life: My FIERCE, FABULOUS, FUNNY baby girls, who are spending the holidays off on GRAND ADVENTURES with their respective One True Loves in both New … Continue reading →

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