Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

this

Posted on January 16, 2014 by muffybolding

“My story isn’t pleasant, it’s not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves.” — Hermann Hesse, Demian

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girls

Posted on January 7, 2014 by muffybolding

Our fierce, fabulous Baby Goat and her Delta Gamma sorority sister, Wedge, went to the big game yesterday at The Rose Bowl with a bunch of other friends — and they had the MOTHERLOVING TIME OF THEIR LIVES. None of … Continue reading →

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jules

Posted on January 2, 2014 by muffybolding

In my felonious family…we laugh at everything. EVERYTHING. It is, in fact, the only reason most of us are still alive. Most of us. For example, when my GORGEOUS, GLAMOROUS little sister, Julia, tragically died from a drug overdose nearly … Continue reading →

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eve

Posted on January 2, 2014 by muffybolding

Muffy’s Year End Best Of List, 2013: The very best book I read this year (and trust me, I read a LOT of books) is — CLAWS FUCKING DOWN — “The End of Eve” by my friend, the unfathomably brilliant … Continue reading →

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glamour

Posted on December 31, 2013 by muffybolding

Gosh. A most lovely and unexpected gift…dropped at my bejeweled, clawed, crimson talons on the last day of 2013 by the darling Evan L Smith. You just made my fucking YEAR with this quote, Herr Smith. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE … Continue reading →

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me pee

Posted on December 24, 2013 by muffybolding

Inane Cluster of Existential Pissings #1222: 1) I have never seen a single episode of Seinfeld. Ever. 2) I am religion adverse. I believe that extreme, devout religiosity suggests a profound lack of imagination. I DO, however, believe in gods: … Continue reading →

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ms.

Posted on December 24, 2013 by muffybolding

We all know who gets TOP BILLING on Muffy’s Christmas Altar. That’s right. She who knits awesome Doctor Who scarves, covertly sneaks into the toy shop and reconfigures the LUDICROUS, INSULTING, UNREALISTIC hip-to-waist ratio on Barbie dolls when no one’s looking, … Continue reading →

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bookie wookies

Posted on December 21, 2013 by muffybolding

“In your status line, list 10 books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take more than a few minutes and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be “right” or “great” works, just the ones … Continue reading →

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bad girl

Posted on December 10, 2013 by muffybolding

I am a cultural and ethnic mongrel — but, make no mistake…we pound puppies are a hale, hearty lot. We generally hail from felonious, deplorable, difficult origins, and I am no exception. We are scrappers and survivors. We birth babies … Continue reading →

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naked

Posted on December 10, 2013 by muffybolding

Gosh. I am blown away by all the love. Wow. So, the truth is I have been away dealing with some health issues and have been off the grid, holed up at home, knitting, reading Anne Sexton, taking twice-daily hot … Continue reading →

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