Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

that boy.

“Yes, Jackie does look sort of vacant…soulless…empty…Stepfordish here, doesn’t he? And just exactly how twisted is it that that makes me want to make out with him EVEN MORE?” — Muffy Bolding (seen here with the lovely Taylor Negron and … Continue reading

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tru on babe

Gosh, just think of it! Two of my grandest and most enduring obsessions all in the very same quote. Fancy! “Babe Paley had only one fault. She was perfect. Otherwise, she was perfect.” — Truman Capote There is something completely … Continue reading

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wunndaful!

I am EXCITED beyond measure to have been invited to this show by the man of the hour himself, the amazing Mr. Taylor Negron. He is such a fine and talented actor, and he has done things in his career … Continue reading

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monday, monday

Love. Communion. Laughter. Chihuahuas. Hot Coffee. Hot shower. Brisk weather. Cozy cashmere cardigan sweater. Delightful, inspiring work — and brilliant, amazing colleagues to create it with. I axe you, what could be better than waking up on a gottdamned Monday … Continue reading

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adventures with ceej

You think you know heaven? Well, YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT, Gentle Reader! Get your fatass on over to my great friend and partner-in-yarn, CJ Arabia’s, blog to find out just how brilliant it would be to spend two weeks in … Continue reading

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i heart gagey munster!

My adorable friend and colleague, Gage Munster, is an ASTONISHINGLY TALENTED make-up and special effects artist who I just found out got cast on season 1 of the new series, Face Off, on the SyFy Channel, where he will compete … Continue reading

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my felonious beau

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they’ll kill you.” — Oscar Wilde Man, talk about being born at the wrong time in history. How much would this amazing queen have rocked the fucking Intarwebs? … Continue reading

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I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe.

Gregory and I rang in the New Year cozy, sweet, and low-key at the tragically fashionable mountain-top lair of the lovely Miss Jackie Beat — where we lounged about in our pajamas, kissed the lips of two sweet doggies, munched … Continue reading

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the cult of the bloody turnip

In the spirit of my little family’s planned “Year of Giving Joyously, Generously, and Until It Fucking Hurts”, 2011: “If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus … Continue reading

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welcome, welcome, 2011!

For Our Three Beautiful Babies as they step through to 2011: If you have a dream, don’t let ANYONE or ANYTHING stop you from making it come true. Beware those fearful, envious people — threatened by excellence and the light … Continue reading

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