Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Sestina To My Father, Who Now Smokes Only In His Heart (for Thomas Cipro) The best spent evening on this goddamned earth, is lying around, having a smoke, inhaling Brautigan, Berryman, and Bellow, dispatching children to the Land of Dreams … Continue reading →

Yesterday I heard my new favorite fucking joke: What’s the worst thing that Willie Nelson can say to you after you’ve just given Willie Nelson a blowjob? “I’M NOT WILLIE NELSON.”

“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and goddamnit, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about … Continue reading →

It’s Flashback Fucking Friday, bitches. Here I am. Here I was.

My husband, Gregory, is my best friend in the world. In fact, he is the best friend I have EVER had — and, without question, the most noble, devoted, compassionate, brilliant person I have ever known. I would not have … Continue reading →

So, my beloved phone apparently had an INEXPLICABLY DICKISH moment yesterday…and jettisoned all of my precious phone contacts into the goddamned ethers. Just in case you didn’t fully understand what I am saying to you: ALL. OF. MY. FUCKING. PRECIOUS. … Continue reading →

I was just having a delightful conversation with a treasured old friend about what makes truly beautiful offspring — her own GORGEOUS, BUTTERY BABES are half Anglo, half Cuban…and mine are (taking a DEEEEEP breath in preparation for this ancestral … Continue reading →

In solidarity with my sisters and our struggles all over the world for equality, safety, education, opportunity, prosperity, influence, and dominion over our own bodies and our own destinies, I would now like to throw my full support behind the … Continue reading →

Profoundly inspired by Jessica, the delightful little girl caught on video telling herself in the bathroom mirror just how gottdamned awesome she is, this old hooker felt compelled to march her fatass right on over to the computer to write … Continue reading →

When I was a little girl, watching Endora and Uncle Arthur on “Bewitched” changed my life — altered my consciousness, made me laugh, made me rapt, made me giddy, made me long for a world, a way of life, and … Continue reading →